Today’s episode is what happens when your laptop hits 9% battery and your soul hits 9% patience. I stumble in here trying to teach Daniel 11, but instead the show derails into a full-scale emotional hostage situation involving Sonic, Panera, and the unholy $9.56 egg sandwich that broke my spirit.

We talk about how fast food has become a psychological warfare program, how Chick-fil-A is the last working institution in America, and why Nickelback went from post-9/11 superweapon to the most bullied band in human history.

Then I dive headfirst into a conspiracy so stupid it might actually be true: Did the media engineer our hatred of Nickelback? Did Brian Posehn accidentally pull the first domino? Did MTV decide dads shouldn’t have feelings? Did record labels sabotage them? I’m not saying yes… I’m saying maybe??

Plus: me shadowboxing over tater tots, Hollywood tap-dancing into AI oblivion, DiCaprio movies being $19.99, and one documentary autoplaying itself into my brain at exactly the wrong moment.

It’s chaos. It’s therapy. It’s rage-eating Panera bagels while ranting about Rolling Stone and Lynyrd Skynyrd’s ghost taking revenge on Mick Jagger’s catwalk.

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