The state of public discourse is often dire and includes insults and threats. We assume the worst of the other side and are not afraid to call them out publicly, especially online. Our guest on today's show says this behavior isn't just rude. It's uncivil. And that civility - not politeness - makes a real difference in how we think about ourselves and treat each other.

Our guest, Alexandra Hudson, is the author of the new book The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves. She grew up in a family where manners mattered. When she went to work for Education Secretary Betsy DeVos in the Trump administration, she thought good manners would help her navigate a hostile work environment.

But she failed to thrive, despite putting politeness and friendliness into overdrive. She left politics deflated. Still, her experience got her thinking about true civility and how it can help us find common ground.

As the holiday season begins, we explore the difference between civility and politeness, how loneliness and isolation contribute to an uncivil society, and the important part hospitality plays in being genuinely civil.