The Starting Line

My nail tech called me this week. Out of nowhere. And y’all might think — okay, Crystal, it’s just nails. But that is exactly the point.

God had already told me to call her. I kept putting it off. And then she called me. And I ended up in the exact same place I would have been had I just been obedient from the start.

That is not a coincidence. That is God doubling down.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

In this episode — Part 3 of the obedience series — I’m talking about what happens when you fail to move and God sends somebody else to push you there anyway. I’m talking about why your obedience needs to touch every level of your life, not just the big decisions. And I’m talking about why you cannot leap to the big thing if you haven’t built the muscle on the small things first.

You don’t go from tiptoe to jumping. There are steps in between. And every small act of obedience is building the pattern, the muscle, and the trust that carries you into everything larger He has waiting for you.

Start small. Stay obedient.

🎙️ Listen now — link above. And if you haven’t heard Episode 2 — Raising the Vibration — or Episode 36 — There Is No Rest in Disobedience — go back. All three together tell the whole story.

Labor Day weekend I took my three year old niece to our family reunion in Atlanta — without her parents. And in three days with her, she taught me something I didn’t expect.

She had no shame about asking to be seen. Look at me. Am I pretty? Direct. Honest. Completely unashamed.

And I couldn’t stop thinking — what happens to that need when we grow up?

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

In this episode I’m talking about what gets built inside a child who is seen consistently — and what gets built instead when they’re not. I’m talking about the adult who shrinks, the adult who becomes loud, and the adult who learned that visibility was dangerous. I’m talking about how I became one of those children. And I’m talking about what it means that I’m here now — with a podcast, on purpose, asking to be seen on my own terms.

The need to be seen doesn’t go away. We just learn to hide it.

This one is for the ones who grew up unseen. The ones still waiting for someone to notice. I see you.

There is no rest in disobedience.

That’s what Kylia Jackson said in a video I was watching on a Tuesday morning while getting ready for work. She kept right on moving. But I couldn’t.

I stopped everything and started recording — because that one sentence was enough to sit with for the rest of the day.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

In this episode I’m walking through what obedience actually costs. What it feels like in your body when you ignore the call. Why God doesn’t stop sending the message just because you looked the other way. And why your obedience — even when it’s imperfect, even when you’re terrified — is someone else’s permission to live.

This one is for whoever has been avoiding the thing they already know they’re supposed to do.

There is no rest there. Go be obedient.

I got a text from my really good friend. Only her name came across the screen. And I immediately felt a sense of disappointment — before I read a single word.

I knew we were getting together in a few hours. And my first thought was — she’s about to cancel. Why did I assume that? Why did my body react like that?

Well. Let’s find out.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

In this episode I’m tracing a coping strategy I created when I was two or three years old — one I’ve been using ever since without even realizing it. The strategy of preparing for disappointment before it arrives so the blow doesn’t hit as hard.

Except here’s the problem. That strategy guarantees I experience the negative. Every time. Even when nothing went wrong.

We’re also talking about fear of getting in trouble, rewiring your nervous system, and why the things that no longer serve you aren’t just friendships and jobs — they’re also the mentalities and coping mechanisms you’ve been carrying since childhood.

I don’t have all the answers. But I have a question for you at the end.

Saturday morning. Warming up for power flow. I was doing some balancing exercises and as soon as I closed my eyes — the challenge went from 10 to 1000. I immediately fell out of the pose.

And it made me think. How many of us are walking around like that? Eyes closed. Off balance. Completely unaware.

Here’s the thing about closing your eyes — nothing around you changes. The room is the same. Your body is the same. But the moment you remove your ability to see, you lose your footing. And the fall becomes inevitable.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

Self-awareness works exactly the same way. Every time you walk through life blind — avoiding the hard questions, refusing to look at how you’re contributing, internalizing things that were never about you — you fall. Over and over. And you don’t even know why.

Because your eyes were closed.

In this episode we’re talking about the areas where you might be balanced and the areas where you’re walking completely blind. Plus a personal moment where something triggered me — and what I did instead of reacting.

You cannot balance what you cannot see. Open your eyes.

I have always thought of myself as an introvert. That wasn’t a question for me. That was just who I was.

But as I’ve grown and really started getting to know myself in this season — I’ve realized I have extrovert tendencies. Real ones. And I actually like them.

So I’ve been sitting with a question: do I have to pick? Do I have to be consistent with a label I gave myself years ago?

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

The answer I landed on is no. And the lesson that came with it changed how I think about motivation, discipline, and why some environments carry you while others drain you.

In this episode I’m walking through two scenarios — working out and deep work — and what they revealed about when I need people and when I need solitude. Plus why I’ve been a faithful member of my yoga studio for over seven years when every gym membership I’ve ever had failed.

It wasn’t willpower. It was the room.

Stop trying to thrive in a room that was never built for how you’re wired.

I taught an aerial yoga class today. I recorded the entire thing. And when I watched it back this evening I critiqued every single word I said.

Meanwhile — students enjoyed themselves. Students tried something new. Students trusted me enough to guide them into unfamiliar territory. And they were already looking forward to coming back.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

I was so focused on how I taught it that I almost missed what they received.

In this episode I’m talking about what happens when we expect mastery at the beginning of something we just started. The pressure we put on ourselves. The difference between critique that builds and critique that destroys. And why the beginning is supposed to look like the beginning.

I also brought in 20 years of proof that the process works — when you stay in it.

The mastery is waiting on you. You just have to stay in it long enough to get there.

I don’t usually talk about my relationship on this podcast. But something came up that I couldn’t let go of.

Someone asked me recently if I was married. And I hesitated. Not because I didn’t know the answer — but because the answer is more complicated than a yes or a no.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

We’ve been together 20 years. We’ve met with wedding planners. We had started the budget. We were planning to expand our family. And then my partner was diagnosed with cancer. Everything stopped.

And what that season taught me changed how I see commitment entirely.

In this episode I’m talking about the difference between a certificate and a commitment — because they are not the same thing. A piece of paper cannot make the choice for you. And a piece of paper cannot replace it.

This is between me, my partner, and God. And you don’t have to agree. Period.

I relapsed.

This morning my blood pressure was 163 over 107. And before you panic on my behalf — I want to tell you why I’m not.

In this episode I’m talking about what relapsing really means — because it’s not just a term for alcohol and drug recovery. When you fall off your diet, that’s a relapse. When your routine breaks down and you slide back into old habits, that’s a relapse. We just don’t call it that. And because we don’t name it, we don’t know how to face it without shame.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

But here’s what I really need you to hear: my blood pressure is not the origin of my problem. It’s the symptom. And if you only treat the symptom without addressing what’s actually triggering it — you’re going to end up in the same place over and over again.

We’re talking about overstimulation, the Capone audiobook series, my ADHD, the things I was avoiding, and why 163 came down to 135 in one day without touching my diet.

Relapsing is not the problem. It’s only a problem when you use it as a reason to quit.

Friday morning at 5:45 yoga class, my mind formulated something I knew was on purpose for me. My first response was — no. You’re not ready.

By noon — six hours later — God had already answered it.

That’s when I realized I’ve been ignoring a sign this whole time. The speed of the answer is trying to tell us something. Whether it happens immediately, gets delayed, or never manifests at all — that’s not random. That’s information.

This podcast exists because I stopped waiting to be ready. Subscribe free and come along for the journey.

In this episode I’m sharing a framework that came to me in real time:

Right thing. Right time. — Immediate.Right thing. Wrong time. — Delayed.Wrong thing. Wrong time. — Denied.

We also talk about why it’s sometimes easier to stay in familiar failure than to step into purpose — and why the blessing being too big is not a problem. That’s the whole point.