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Some stories don’t end when you leave 🥀

In Episode 2 of House of H.E.R, I sit down again with my friend Cassie to talk about what happened after I left the part of the story that rarely gets spoken about, and the part that almost broke me.

This episode is about the aftermath. The crash. The moment survival mode finally catches up with you. With the relationship over and the truth beginning to surface, my body and nervous system collapsed under everything they had been holding in for so long. I share what it was like to hit rock bottom, experience suicidal thoughts, and realise that leaving didn’t bring instant relief it brought grief, fear, confusion, and the most intense emotional pain of my life.

We talk honestly about going to the police, the shock of how serious the case became, and what it was like navigating statements, evidence, CPS decisions, arrest, remand, and court. I share why the Victim Personal Statement became one of the most powerful moments of my healing not because it changed the past, but because it gave me my voice back.

This episode also explores the losses that come with speaking up. Friendships ending. People choosing sides. The isolation that can follow telling the truth. And the painful reality that sometimes you have to lose everything connected to your old life in order to save yourself.

We talk about trauma responses no one warns you about  emotional numbness, flashbacks, body-based anxiety, fixation, shame, and the urge to minimise what you went through. And we talk about the slow, uncomfortable realisation that healing doesn’t begin when the danger ends  it begins when your body finally feels safe enough to fall apart.

This is not an easy listen. But it is an honest one.

If you’ve ever wondered why leaving didn’t feel like freedom, why you struggled more after it ended, or why your nervous system feels like it’s still fighting a war that’s already over  this episode is for you.

You are not dramatic. You are not failing. Your body is processing trauma.

What we cover

• What happens after you leave an abusive relationship
 • Nervous system collapse and delayed trauma responses
 • Suicidal thoughts and hitting emotional rock bottom
 • Going to the police and navigating the justice system
 • Arrest, remand, and the court process
 • The Victim Personal Statement and reclaiming your voice
 • Loss of friendships and social fallout after speaking up
 • Why healing doesn’t start when the abuse ends

Trigger Warning

This episode contains discussion of domestic abuse, coercive control, physical violence, strangulation, stalking, suicide, and mental health struggles. If you’re struggling right now or something in this episode has brought things up for you, please know you are not alone and help is available.

UK Support

Samaritans
Call 116 123 (free, 24/7)
https://www.samaritans.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpl

House of H.E.R. is a space for women who have lived through abuse, trauma, and relationships that broke them. This podcast exists to tell the truth, raise awareness around domestic abuse, and remind you that you are not alone in what you’re healing from.

Resources & support:
https://stan.store/houseofherpod

Join our healing community:
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Follow @houseofher__ and my personal account @holliedowdingx on Instagram and please share this episode with a woman who might need it 🥀