My story of devastation & dignity. Why I chose abuse and how I chose joy. Part 1: this chapter, Easy To Love, is a reflection on the moment I realized that the “love” I was feeling was not the “love” my heart yearned for. At that moment in time love was hard, and excruciatingly empty. I couldn’t seem to bridge the gap between the “love” I had in my marriage. A love that had been though hell and back. A love I thought could make it through anything. Yet underneath this hard “love” was a calling to a kind of love that was easy and gentle and kind. A love that was nothing like the “love” I shared with my husband. So what do I do when “Love” doesn’t seem to be loving?