The title of the book sounds like the author, Mark Manson, will teach you not to care. In fact the book is all about learning how to care in the right way. The author wants you to care about things that serve you, that are truly important in life. we sweat the small stuff and that drains us from giving proper energy to the best stuff. Like Gary Keller’s The One Thing, care about what is most important to you, and care less (or not at all) about everything else.

The more you pursue something the more it reminds you of the fact that you don’t have what you pursue. Pursuing positive things is a negative experience and pursuing pain and suffering is a positive experience.

Happiness is in the solving of problems. We will always have problems.

Emotions are signals to take action. Negative emotions are a call to action while positive ones are a reward for success.

the author talked about how in Russia they are candid and tell it like it is

Take responsibility for your circumstance, regardless if it was your initial fault or not.

I recommend of Viktor Frankl. He says you make meaning of what happens to you. The author has similar sentiments.

We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we interpret and respond.

The happiness of pursuit (book recommendation).

We are always chasing the next high. Don’t do things that make you feel good, do things that give you purpose. It’s good if some things make you feel good – but you won’t always feel that way (sometimes working out sucks) so using ‘feeling good” as a barometer of whether or not to do something is a very bad idea. It is better to Commit to activities that are fulfilling, better to be satisfied than happy.

Back in the day we were in competition for survival, today we are in competition for “status”. Status is an illusion. Modern “success” seems to be measured in your house/car/girlfriend/FB status.

Author discusses diminishing returns and after a certain amount of money you really don’t get happier.

Focus on the process, not the end result. Pursuing a process is a rewarding experience.

People need adversity in their lives. It’s true that rough seas make the best sailors.

When we try to eliminate hardship, we shortcut the process. We learn from mistakes. Working towards a goal makes it more enjoyable once the goal is achieved. I equate good vs. bad experiences like tasting sweets vs. salty. If you have all of one and not enough of the other, you get numb to the overall experience. Don’t try to be “a happy person” all the time. Be realistic.

Practice gratitude when possible.

People who try to be happy all the time are delusional.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” -Albert Camus

Push through the adversity and pain by not giving a F about the bad.

We are all going to die someday. Once you release your fear of death, you increase your ability to live, uninhibited. The author spent a lot of time on the death concept.

The human mind has a tendency to invent problems when you don’t have any in order to fill the void.

Suffering is inevitable. What you resist persists. Push through it.

Being concerned with what others think doesn’t serve you. The author feels it’s due to what values you hold. This makes sense and I will add that you should not have an external locus of control. You need to refocus to having an internal locus of control, so that your feelings and the decisions you make are based on your core values.

Rather than focus on the way you think things should be, its better to focus on what is. Got dealt a raw deal? Accept the situation, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and move on. Take action and fix it. Own it.

The author talks about how unreliable memory is. False memory of molestation.

One of the most insidious foes we face