If you've ever blamed yourself for "falling for" a narcissist's manipulation, I need you to hear this:

It wasn't your weakness that made you vulnerable.It was your strength.

For years, we've been fed a dangerous myth that only "broken" women with low self-esteem and poor boundaries end up in narcissistic relationships. But groundbreaking research reveals a very different truth—one that might change how you see your entire experience.

The Myth We Need to Bury

The outdated stereotype claims narcissistic abuse victims:✖ Came from troubled homes✖ Have a history of bad relationships✖ Lack self-worth or boundaries✖ Are codependent "people-pleasers"

But Sandra Brown's landmark 2014 study of 600 survivors at Purdue University found:✅ 60% came from stable backgrounds✅ Had no significant childhood trauma✅ Were high-functioning in careers and relationships

So why did these capable, successful women stay?

The Two "Super Traits" That Actually Make You a Target

1️⃣ High Agreeableness

* You believe in people's capacity to change

* You assume good intentions (until proven otherwise)

* You're cooperative, empathetic, and solution-focused

2️⃣ High Conscientiousness

* You honor commitments (even when others don't)

* You take responsibility seriously

* You persist through challenges

In other words: You possess exactly the qualities we admire in partners, friends, and colleagues. But narcissists weaponize these strengths against you.

How Narcissists Exploit Your Best Qualities

🔹 Your optimism becomes proof you'll "stick it out" through their bad behavior🔹 Your loyalty gets twisted into tolerating the intolerable🔹 Your problem-solving gets redirected into fixing their manufactured crises

The cruel irony? Over time, the very traits that made you amazing get eroded by:➔ Gaslighting ("You're too sensitive")➔ Love-bombing (rewarding your patience)➔ Intermittent reinforcement (keeping you hooked on potential)

If You're Feeling Stupid or Ashamed...

Please know:

💡 Narcissists don't target "weak" people—they target exceptional ones💡 The fact you blame yourself proves your conscience (something they lack)💡 Your ability to love deeply isn't a flaw—it's your superpower

Reclaiming Your Strength

Healing begins when you:

* Reframe your story: You weren't "fooled"—you were hunted by a skilled predator

* Protect your gifts: Learn how to armor your empathy with boundaries

* Rebuild discernment: Spot red flags earlier without losing your open heart

You deserve support that honors your resilience. If you're ready to:➔ Transform shame into strength➔ Rewire relationship patterns➔ Reclaim your confidence

💜 Join my email list for free trauma recovery tools: https://www.susiemillerwendel.com/contact💜 Book a free discovery call to explore 1:1 coaching: https://www.susiemillerwendel.com/coaching-services/book-a-session

P.S. Which of these "super traits" do you recognize in yourself? Comment below—I'd love to celebrate your strength with you. Remember: What made you vulnerable also makes you extraordinary.

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