How do guilt and shame mess up our relationships with God, self and others? (summary) Guilt is the painful feeling of regret over our sins (actions) while shame is the painful feeling about ourselves (self). Three sources of shame are past poor decisions; past bad decisions that hold our future hostage; and somebody else's sin. Jesus already paid our debt on the cross and set us free. We need to break the cycle and release the darkness. God has forgiven us. We are redeemed and can hope in a new future.