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The Ten Commandments – Part 6 – Family First
Episode 210 – Ten Commandments – Part 6 – Family First
Welcome to Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. In John 14:6, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” The goal of Anchored by Truth is to encourage everyone to grow in the Christian faith by anchoring themselves to the secure truth found in the inspired, inerrant, and infallible word of God.
Script:
Respect your father and your mother, and you will live a long time in the land I am giving you.
Exodus, Chapter 20, verse 12, Contemporary English Version
********
VK: Hello! Welcome to Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. I’m Victoria K. We’re so happy that you are able to join us for another episode of Anchored by Truth as we continue our series on the Ten Commandments. In this series we want to remind people that the 10 commandments were given to us to enable us to live better lives. God is perfect in every way. God did not need the 10 commandments to make His life better. But we do. This was true for the first people to hear the commandments 3,500 years ago, the Hebrew people who were part of the exodus from Egypt. And it remains true for us today. To help us think through the reasons we continue to benefit from the 10 commandments, in the studio we have RD Fierro. RD is an author and the founder of Crystal Sea Books. RD, so far in this series we have covered the first 4 commandments. Today, we get to the 5th commandment which some scholars see as a transitional commandment. Why is that?
RD: Many commentators have divided the 10 commandments into 2 groups called “tables.” We’ve mentioned that in a couple of episodes in this series. Often the 1st four commandments are considered the first table of the law. Their purpose is to help us have a better relationship with God. The last six commandments are often called the 2nd table. Their purpose is to help us have better relationships with other people. So, in this two table division the 5th commandment is the start of the second table. Some scholars actually believe that that is how God divided the commandments when He wrote on the stone tablets mentioned in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy.
VK: But of course we have no way of knowing that for sure. For a while, the stone tablets on which God wrote were stored in the Ark of the Covenant. But the Ark is last mentioned in scripture in Second Chronicles chapter 35. That reference tells us that King Josiah asked the Levites to return the Ark to the Temple where Solomon had originally housed it. There is no mention as to why the Levites had removed the Ark in the first place, nor is there any indication as to whether or not the Levites acquiesced to King Josiah's request. King Josiah reigned in Judah 640-609 BC.
RD: There is a mention of the ark in the book of Second Maccabees, chapter 2, verses 1-8. That reference says that the prophet Jeremiah was given a divine revelation to take the “tent” and the ark to “the mountain which Moses climbed to see God's inheritance. When Jeremiah arrived there, he found a room in a cave in which he put the tent, the ark, and the altar of incense; then he blocked up the entrance." The “tent” was the portable tabernacle that the Hebrews had used in the desert during their journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. The mountain would likely be Mt. Nebo which is mentioned in Deuteronomy 31:1-4. Second Maccabees is, of course, part of the Apocrypha and is not accepted as being canonical by much of the church. At any rate even if the Maccabees reference was accurate we still have the ark disappearing from history before the Babylonian captivity which would mean the tablets disappeared over 2,500 years ago.
VK: Fortunately for us the content of what was written on the tablets has been preserved for us in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy. So, even though we don’t have the physical tablets we know what they said.
RD: Yes. And as you mentioned the 5th commandment is often seen as a transitional commandment since it ushers in the transition from the 1st table to the 2nd table. And the content of the 5th commandment links the content of the 2 tables. The first table is focused on God but ends with a commandment that is centered around how we are to structure our weeks – 6 days for work, one day for rest and worship. The 5th commandment is focused on the first institution created by God for man’s benefit – the family. So, the 5th commandment is the beginning of all authority structures for man.
VK: God, of course, is the ultimate authority. In the Garden of Eden God delegated authority to care for the garden and the animals to man. God made man His steward over creation. Now, in the 5th commandment God expressly delegates the authority over the family to the father and mother. Now we might want to note that this authority structure had been in place since creation. The authority structure did not begin when the commandments were given. But when God said to “respect your father and mother” he was reiterating the validity and importance of the familial authority structure. He was also ensuring that the Hebrews understood that the principle that children must respect their parents isn’t just for the benefit of parents. It has benefits for the children as well.
RD: The 5th commandment is often referred to as the first commandment with “promise.” God says there is a specific benefit attached to obedience of the 5th commandment.
VK: In our opening scripture which came from the Contemporary English Version of the Bible the commandment was phrased, “Respect your father and your mother, and you will live a long time in the land I am giving you. The New King James Version puts the 5th commandment this way: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” In other words the Lord is tying respect or honor for fathers and mothers to longevity. But scholars are not in agreement about whether the longevity in view is for the individuals or whether it is more of a promise to the nation that if Hebrew children will obey their parents the nation will survive for a long time in the land to which they are journeying.
RD: And there’s probably a bit of both ideas in view. Commentators sometimes remind us that ideas such as the one contained in the 5th commandment are “principles” not “promises.” In other words, God isn’t providing a guarantee that just because a child is obedient to their parents the will have a long life. We know from our own life experiences that even obedient kids can die far too young from accidents or disease. But it is also true that if a wise parent gives their children cogent advice which the child follows the child is far more likely to avoid an untimely end. I had a friend of mine tell me that his father had told him before he entered West Point that “nothing good happens after midnight on Saturday night.” His dad was simply telling him that getting home safely early would keep him out of a lot of mischief. It was good advice then and it’s good advice now.
VK: But we also don’t want to overly secularize the intent of the promise in the 5th commandment. James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of light. God can and does intercede in the lives of His children and, while it is not absolute guarantee, as a general rule God will entrust more blessings to those of His children who have demonstrated they can handle them. There’s an old saying that “most men can handle poverty, but there are precious few who can survive prosperity.” God is not a distant or disinterested Father. We can’t be absolutely sure why He does anything. As Isaiah, chapter 55, verse 9 tells us, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” But, generally, God blesses His obedient children. We shouldn’t dismiss the idea that God will take note of which of His children follow His commandments and a longer life is certainly one blessing God can confer even if the world seems arrayed against that possibility.
RD: Yes. So, certainly one idea that is contained in the 5th commandment is that children should be obedient to their parents. But just as the accompanying idea of longevity is not an absolute promise, the 5th commandment does not require a son or daughter to be blindly obedient to their parents. There is an unspoken idea in the commandment that the parent has an obligation to not demand that their child do anything that would violate any of the other commandments or any of God’s other principles or laws.
VK: In other words if a father told a child to go rob a bank the child is under no obligation to obey that instruction just because it came from the father. Robbing a bank would violate the 8th commandment against theft.
RD: And a daughter should not abort her unborn baby just because her parents insist that she do so. That would violate the 6th commandment against taking an innocent human life. We could give a lot of specific examples of times that a child would actually dishonor their parents if they followed an instruction literally. So, one way to make a general statement is that the child should honor their parents’ instructions provided those instructions are not immoral, illegal, or unethical.
VK: So, one of the major ideas that is contained in the 5th commandment is that children should be obedient to their parents. But you have said that that is not the only idea mandated by the 5th commandment. As you have said, our compliance with the 5th commandment will mature as our lives, and those of our parents, progress. What do mean by that?
RD: Well, when we are young our parents take care of us. But there may come a time when we must take care of our parents. So, respecting and honoring our parents means that if, and when, that time comes we must be prepared to do so.
VK: What you are saying is that if we are fortunate to have parents who live long enough to become elderly, at some point they are going to require the assistance of their children. They may need help with tasks around the house, getting to the doctors or other appointments, driving, etc. They may also need help with managing their money or finding assistance for living conditions.
RD: Correct. Many people will be self-sufficient into their 80’s or even 90’s but some parents might have health issues and need help sooner. Just about anyone who lives long enough is going to need some kind of help. It may be a not or it may be a little. And the first people who should step up and provide that help are the kids. And as a service to our listeners we want to warn them about a particular kind of danger that arises for too many of the vulnerable elderly these days: financial exploitation.
VK: Financial exploitation is a particularly dangerous form of danger that has arisen in the past few decades. And it can take various forms. Sometimes it is unscrupulous salesmen or contractors who know that many elderly people need help and don’t know where to find it. And they know that often times elderly people are lonely and if they find someone who will just listen to them they will overpay for goods and services. Sometimes it’s because the elderly just don’t know what prices are reasonable any more. Sometimes it’s a deliberate scam like selling an elderly person over-priced cleaning equipment, charging way too much for simple home repairs, or just selling things the persons doesn’t need. But there is a truly reprehensible form of financial exploitation that has become all too common in the US because of the way we pay for long term care such as nursing home.
RD: You’re thinking of the way in which some kids will deliberately impoverish their parents in order to transfer the payment burden for long term care from the family to the government.
VK: Yes. We don’t have anywhere near the time to cover this subject in detail, but because of the US federal regulations for the Medicaid program the federal government will pay for nursing home care for impoverished elderly patients. The intent of the program is noble but in practice it establishes a perverse incentive. I’ve seen cases where the kids say to mom and dad, “if you transfer all of your money and assets to us then when you need to go to a nursing home the government will pay for it. That will ensure we get your money and can use it to help keep you more comfortable.” Sadly, in many, many cases that’s not how it works out.
RD: No. It’s not. Our purpose on Anchored by Truth is not to provide advice on either families or finances. Our purpose is to demonstrate the inspiration, inerrancy, and infallibility of scripture. But we can’t pass over the implications of the 5th commandment and not provide this warning. Government programs are intended to help the truly vulnerable. So, any set of children who are suggesting that their parents divest themselves or their life savings, home, property, or anything else just to make sure they qualify for long term care paid for by the government are violating not only the 5th commandment but also the 8th and 10th commandments at a minimum.
VK: The 8th commandment prohibits stealing. And that’s what you’re doing when you artificially manipulate your parents’ financial condition to shift a burden from the family to the government. And the 10th commandment prohibits coveting the property, or anything else, of someone else – including anything that belongs to your parents or the government.
RD: We’re certainly not saying that it cases of genuine need and qualification it may be necessary for loved ones to get long term care paid for by the government. The purpose of these programs is to alleviate suffering. Having had a lot of experience with them I’m not sure they accomplish that objective but that isn’t our focus today. Our focus is to make sure that people understand that as our elders age and need support the 5th commandment makes it mandatory that children do the best they can to provide that support. Not everyone can do everything. But the point of the 5th commandment is that we must do what we can. We must not ignore the plight of our parents and we can’t shuffle the burden off on others.
VK: And, as a general principle, our Christian faith means that we should be prepared to assist, as we are able, those who have been like fathers or mothers to us, even if the biological relationship isn’t strictly parent child. Aunts, uncles, certainly grandparents, but even older neighbors may have been important as we grew up and they should not be forgotten or ignored when they need help. I know that you spent over 5 years visiting one elderly man in a nursing home reading the Bible to him because he was blind. And you took him quite a few meals of the kind that he had no access to because he was poor as well as having numerous physical disabilities.
RD: I did after someone brought his condition to my attention. And I know that we are all busy with needs and plans of our own but there will come a time when most of us will need help. We used to say that “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” was the Golden Rule. At any rate, we want people to understand that being obedient to the 5th commandment has implications beyond just doing what your father and mother tells you to do. And we ignore this commandment at our own peril.
VK: Every stable society that has ever existed has been built on a strong family structure. And this is one area where the commandment that God gave to the Exodus Hebrews actually corresponded to the society they were leaving. There are records of Egyptian philosophers admonishing their society that obedience to parents was not only right and proper but that it would be good for the children. In fact, one of their philosophers actually noted that obedience was linked to longevity.
RD: One of their sages, Ptah-hotep, said "The son who accepts the words of his father, will grow old in consequence of so doing;" He also said, "The obedient son will be happy by reason of his obedience; he will grow old; he will come to favor." So, this helps to illustrate that even the pagan societies of the time of the Exodus connected familial strength with health and longevity. Now a lot of modern commentators assume that the promise conveyed in the 5th commandment was not personal, but national. But there are other verses in the Bible that indicate that there was at least some level of individual blessing in view.
VK: For instance, Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 through 3 say ” Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” Ephesians, of course, is in the New Testament so it was written about 1,500 years after Moses wrote the book of Exodus. But after all that time the Apostle Paul still saw an element of individual benefit being tied to children being obedient to their parents. And the Apostle Paul reinforced that tie to individual behavior and benefit by following those verses with verse 4 which says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
RD: Right. The Apostle Paul made it clear that the 5th commandment does not give license to parents to abuse their kids or treat them in such a way that it inspires disrespect rather than respect. It shouldn’t be necessary to say it but the 5th commandment goes hand-in-hand with the fact that God expects parents to love, guide, and provide for their children. But, and this is a big but, even if parents fail in their obligations children may still not disrespect them. We need to notice that the promised individual blessing for respecting our parents is to the children and not to the parent.
VK: And that is peculiar to modern listeners, isn’t it? We hear an admonition to “honor thy father and mother” and think that the instruction is for the parents benefit. And certainly parents are partially in view. But the benefits of godly children obeying godly parents goes mostly to the children. That’s counterintuitive in our society.
RD: We started out noting that the 5th commandment is a transitional commandment. The first 4 commandments are about honoring God and His creation ordinances. The 5th commandment is a transition from focus on God to focus on man – and, just as in the Garden of Eden, the first thing that God transitions is His authority. Sequentially, God made man after He had made everything else because God was preparing creation for the creature He intended to make in His image. Immediately after making man, God gave man delegated authority by telling Adam to name the animals. God knew Adam wouldn’t find His perfect partner among the animals but God let Adam find that out for himself. And once Adam had discovered this God completed His creative activity by making Eve. Eve’s creation completed creation.
VK: Now that’s something you don’t often hear people talk about. God didn’t stop creating until He had created Eve. It’s like the old joke. God made man but knew He could do better so then He created woman.
RD: Right. Man and woman were both necessary for God’s created economy and His plans for the created order. God only created 2 people directly but God delegated His authority to those 2 and all subsequent human authority has proceeded from the initial delegation. So, in the 5th commandment God ratifies to Moses and the Hebrews that His original delegation is still in effect. Within the family the parents possess God’s delegated authority. God always promises blessings for obedience so he continues that pattern in the 5th commandment. When children respect, obey, and, in time, take care of their parents, God will continue to convey blessings.
VK: Even in the human realm no one should expect to be blessed by disobeying earthly authorities. Disobey your boss and you can expect to be fired. Disobey the law and you can expect to have trouble. Disobey God and He has no reason to layer blessings on you. But, of course, there are people who are in rebellion against God but seem to be blessed.
RD: That’s a subject for a longer discussion. It’s a mystery that evil can seem to prosper for a while? But Proverbs, chapter 24, verses 19 and 20 tell us, “Don’t fret because of evildoers; don’t envy the wicked. For evil people have no future; the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.” But as you noted we certainly should not expect to be blessed by God if we are disobedient to God. And for those who might say they are not interested in God’s blessings – they’re fine with the other fellow – well, that’s a statement so foolish it betrays an ocean sized ignorance. God gave us the 5th commandment and all the commandments so that we would know how to not just enjoy life now but for eternity. This life is only preparation for what comes next. The saddest people of all are those who think that this earth is all that there is because by the time they realize they trifled with transcendent truths it will be too late. Not anything much sadder than that.
VK: But there’s no reason that anyone who listens to Anchored by Truth needs to fear for their eternal destiny. The 10 commandments are just another form evidence of a simple but profound truth - salvation is available the moment we realize that the Bible is the inspired word of God and Jesus is our Savior. This sounds like a great time to go to God in prayer. Since Mother’s Day is right around the corner today let’s listen to a prayer for our mothers and let’s always be quick to show honor and respect if we are so fortunate as to still have our mother present with us on this side of eternity.
---- PRAYER FOR MOTHERS’ DAY
VK: We’d like to remind our audience that a lot of our radio episodes are linked together in series of topics so if they missed any episodes or if they just want to hear one again, all of these episodes are available on your favorite podcast app. To find them just search on “Anchored by Truth by Crystal Sea Books.”
If you’d like to hear more, try out crystalseabooks.com where “We’re not perfect but our Boss is!”
(Opening Bible Quote from the Aramaic Bible in Plain English)
Exodus, Chapter 20, verses 9, and 11, Aramaic Bible in Plain English
When did the Ark of the Covenant disappear (allaboutarchaeology.org)
View all episodes
By R.D.Fierro
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Episode 210 – Ten Commandments – Part 6 – Family First
Welcome to Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. In John 14:6, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” The goal of Anchored by Truth is to encourage everyone to grow in the Christian faith by anchoring themselves to the secure truth found in the inspired, inerrant, and infallible word of God.
Script:
Respect your father and your mother, and you will live a long time in the land I am giving you.
Exodus, Chapter 20, verse 12, Contemporary English Version
********
VK: Hello! Welcome to Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. I’m Victoria K. We’re so happy that you are able to join us for another episode of Anchored by Truth as we continue our series on the Ten Commandments. In this series we want to remind people that the 10 commandments were given to us to enable us to live better lives. God is perfect in every way. God did not need the 10 commandments to make His life better. But we do. This was true for the first people to hear the commandments 3,500 years ago, the Hebrew people who were part of the exodus from Egypt. And it remains true for us today. To help us think through the reasons we continue to benefit from the 10 commandments, in the studio we have RD Fierro. RD is an author and the founder of Crystal Sea Books. RD, so far in this series we have covered the first 4 commandments. Today, we get to the 5th commandment which some scholars see as a transitional commandment. Why is that?
RD: Many commentators have divided the 10 commandments into 2 groups called “tables.” We’ve mentioned that in a couple of episodes in this series. Often the 1st four commandments are considered the first table of the law. Their purpose is to help us have a better relationship with God. The last six commandments are often called the 2nd table. Their purpose is to help us have better relationships with other people. So, in this two table division the 5th commandment is the start of the second table. Some scholars actually believe that that is how God divided the commandments when He wrote on the stone tablets mentioned in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy.
VK: But of course we have no way of knowing that for sure. For a while, the stone tablets on which God wrote were stored in the Ark of the Covenant. But the Ark is last mentioned in scripture in Second Chronicles chapter 35. That reference tells us that King Josiah asked the Levites to return the Ark to the Temple where Solomon had originally housed it. There is no mention as to why the Levites had removed the Ark in the first place, nor is there any indication as to whether or not the Levites acquiesced to King Josiah's request. King Josiah reigned in Judah 640-609 BC.
RD: There is a mention of the ark in the book of Second Maccabees, chapter 2, verses 1-8. That reference says that the prophet Jeremiah was given a divine revelation to take the “tent” and the ark to “the mountain which Moses climbed to see God's inheritance. When Jeremiah arrived there, he found a room in a cave in which he put the tent, the ark, and the altar of incense; then he blocked up the entrance." The “tent” was the portable tabernacle that the Hebrews had used in the desert during their journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. The mountain would likely be Mt. Nebo which is mentioned in Deuteronomy 31:1-4. Second Maccabees is, of course, part of the Apocrypha and is not accepted as being canonical by much of the church. At any rate even if the Maccabees reference was accurate we still have the ark disappearing from history before the Babylonian captivity which would mean the tablets disappeared over 2,500 years ago.
VK: Fortunately for us the content of what was written on the tablets has been preserved for us in the books of Exodus and Deuteronomy. So, even though we don’t have the physical tablets we know what they said.
RD: Yes. And as you mentioned the 5th commandment is often seen as a transitional commandment since it ushers in the transition from the 1st table to the 2nd table. And the content of the 5th commandment links the content of the 2 tables. The first table is focused on God but ends with a commandment that is centered around how we are to structure our weeks – 6 days for work, one day for rest and worship. The 5th commandment is focused on the first institution created by God for man’s benefit – the family. So, the 5th commandment is the beginning of all authority structures for man.
VK: God, of course, is the ultimate authority. In the Garden of Eden God delegated authority to care for the garden and the animals to man. God made man His steward over creation. Now, in the 5th commandment God expressly delegates the authority over the family to the father and mother. Now we might want to note that this authority structure had been in place since creation. The authority structure did not begin when the commandments were given. But when God said to “respect your father and mother” he was reiterating the validity and importance of the familial authority structure. He was also ensuring that the Hebrews understood that the principle that children must respect their parents isn’t just for the benefit of parents. It has benefits for the children as well.
RD: The 5th commandment is often referred to as the first commandment with “promise.” God says there is a specific benefit attached to obedience of the 5th commandment.
VK: In our opening scripture which came from the Contemporary English Version of the Bible the commandment was phrased, “Respect your father and your mother, and you will live a long time in the land I am giving you. The New King James Version puts the 5th commandment this way: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” In other words the Lord is tying respect or honor for fathers and mothers to longevity. But scholars are not in agreement about whether the longevity in view is for the individuals or whether it is more of a promise to the nation that if Hebrew children will obey their parents the nation will survive for a long time in the land to which they are journeying.
RD: And there’s probably a bit of both ideas in view. Commentators sometimes remind us that ideas such as the one contained in the 5th commandment are “principles” not “promises.” In other words, God isn’t providing a guarantee that just because a child is obedient to their parents the will have a long life. We know from our own life experiences that even obedient kids can die far too young from accidents or disease. But it is also true that if a wise parent gives their children cogent advice which the child follows the child is far more likely to avoid an untimely end. I had a friend of mine tell me that his father had told him before he entered West Point that “nothing good happens after midnight on Saturday night.” His dad was simply telling him that getting home safely early would keep him out of a lot of mischief. It was good advice then and it’s good advice now.
VK: But we also don’t want to overly secularize the intent of the promise in the 5th commandment. James 1:17 tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of light. God can and does intercede in the lives of His children and, while it is not absolute guarantee, as a general rule God will entrust more blessings to those of His children who have demonstrated they can handle them. There’s an old saying that “most men can handle poverty, but there are precious few who can survive prosperity.” God is not a distant or disinterested Father. We can’t be absolutely sure why He does anything. As Isaiah, chapter 55, verse 9 tells us, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” But, generally, God blesses His obedient children. We shouldn’t dismiss the idea that God will take note of which of His children follow His commandments and a longer life is certainly one blessing God can confer even if the world seems arrayed against that possibility.
RD: Yes. So, certainly one idea that is contained in the 5th commandment is that children should be obedient to their parents. But just as the accompanying idea of longevity is not an absolute promise, the 5th commandment does not require a son or daughter to be blindly obedient to their parents. There is an unspoken idea in the commandment that the parent has an obligation to not demand that their child do anything that would violate any of the other commandments or any of God’s other principles or laws.
VK: In other words if a father told a child to go rob a bank the child is under no obligation to obey that instruction just because it came from the father. Robbing a bank would violate the 8th commandment against theft.
RD: And a daughter should not abort her unborn baby just because her parents insist that she do so. That would violate the 6th commandment against taking an innocent human life. We could give a lot of specific examples of times that a child would actually dishonor their parents if they followed an instruction literally. So, one way to make a general statement is that the child should honor their parents’ instructions provided those instructions are not immoral, illegal, or unethical.
VK: So, one of the major ideas that is contained in the 5th commandment is that children should be obedient to their parents. But you have said that that is not the only idea mandated by the 5th commandment. As you have said, our compliance with the 5th commandment will mature as our lives, and those of our parents, progress. What do mean by that?
RD: Well, when we are young our parents take care of us. But there may come a time when we must take care of our parents. So, respecting and honoring our parents means that if, and when, that time comes we must be prepared to do so.
VK: What you are saying is that if we are fortunate to have parents who live long enough to become elderly, at some point they are going to require the assistance of their children. They may need help with tasks around the house, getting to the doctors or other appointments, driving, etc. They may also need help with managing their money or finding assistance for living conditions.
RD: Correct. Many people will be self-sufficient into their 80’s or even 90’s but some parents might have health issues and need help sooner. Just about anyone who lives long enough is going to need some kind of help. It may be a not or it may be a little. And the first people who should step up and provide that help are the kids. And as a service to our listeners we want to warn them about a particular kind of danger that arises for too many of the vulnerable elderly these days: financial exploitation.
VK: Financial exploitation is a particularly dangerous form of danger that has arisen in the past few decades. And it can take various forms. Sometimes it is unscrupulous salesmen or contractors who know that many elderly people need help and don’t know where to find it. And they know that often times elderly people are lonely and if they find someone who will just listen to them they will overpay for goods and services. Sometimes it’s because the elderly just don’t know what prices are reasonable any more. Sometimes it’s a deliberate scam like selling an elderly person over-priced cleaning equipment, charging way too much for simple home repairs, or just selling things the persons doesn’t need. But there is a truly reprehensible form of financial exploitation that has become all too common in the US because of the way we pay for long term care such as nursing home.
RD: You’re thinking of the way in which some kids will deliberately impoverish their parents in order to transfer the payment burden for long term care from the family to the government.
VK: Yes. We don’t have anywhere near the time to cover this subject in detail, but because of the US federal regulations for the Medicaid program the federal government will pay for nursing home care for impoverished elderly patients. The intent of the program is noble but in practice it establishes a perverse incentive. I’ve seen cases where the kids say to mom and dad, “if you transfer all of your money and assets to us then when you need to go to a nursing home the government will pay for it. That will ensure we get your money and can use it to help keep you more comfortable.” Sadly, in many, many cases that’s not how it works out.
RD: No. It’s not. Our purpose on Anchored by Truth is not to provide advice on either families or finances. Our purpose is to demonstrate the inspiration, inerrancy, and infallibility of scripture. But we can’t pass over the implications of the 5th commandment and not provide this warning. Government programs are intended to help the truly vulnerable. So, any set of children who are suggesting that their parents divest themselves or their life savings, home, property, or anything else just to make sure they qualify for long term care paid for by the government are violating not only the 5th commandment but also the 8th and 10th commandments at a minimum.
VK: The 8th commandment prohibits stealing. And that’s what you’re doing when you artificially manipulate your parents’ financial condition to shift a burden from the family to the government. And the 10th commandment prohibits coveting the property, or anything else, of someone else – including anything that belongs to your parents or the government.
RD: We’re certainly not saying that it cases of genuine need and qualification it may be necessary for loved ones to get long term care paid for by the government. The purpose of these programs is to alleviate suffering. Having had a lot of experience with them I’m not sure they accomplish that objective but that isn’t our focus today. Our focus is to make sure that people understand that as our elders age and need support the 5th commandment makes it mandatory that children do the best they can to provide that support. Not everyone can do everything. But the point of the 5th commandment is that we must do what we can. We must not ignore the plight of our parents and we can’t shuffle the burden off on others.
VK: And, as a general principle, our Christian faith means that we should be prepared to assist, as we are able, those who have been like fathers or mothers to us, even if the biological relationship isn’t strictly parent child. Aunts, uncles, certainly grandparents, but even older neighbors may have been important as we grew up and they should not be forgotten or ignored when they need help. I know that you spent over 5 years visiting one elderly man in a nursing home reading the Bible to him because he was blind. And you took him quite a few meals of the kind that he had no access to because he was poor as well as having numerous physical disabilities.
RD: I did after someone brought his condition to my attention. And I know that we are all busy with needs and plans of our own but there will come a time when most of us will need help. We used to say that “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” was the Golden Rule. At any rate, we want people to understand that being obedient to the 5th commandment has implications beyond just doing what your father and mother tells you to do. And we ignore this commandment at our own peril.
VK: Every stable society that has ever existed has been built on a strong family structure. And this is one area where the commandment that God gave to the Exodus Hebrews actually corresponded to the society they were leaving. There are records of Egyptian philosophers admonishing their society that obedience to parents was not only right and proper but that it would be good for the children. In fact, one of their philosophers actually noted that obedience was linked to longevity.
RD: One of their sages, Ptah-hotep, said "The son who accepts the words of his father, will grow old in consequence of so doing;" He also said, "The obedient son will be happy by reason of his obedience; he will grow old; he will come to favor." So, this helps to illustrate that even the pagan societies of the time of the Exodus connected familial strength with health and longevity. Now a lot of modern commentators assume that the promise conveyed in the 5th commandment was not personal, but national. But there are other verses in the Bible that indicate that there was at least some level of individual blessing in view.
VK: For instance, Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 through 3 say ” Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” Ephesians, of course, is in the New Testament so it was written about 1,500 years after Moses wrote the book of Exodus. But after all that time the Apostle Paul still saw an element of individual benefit being tied to children being obedient to their parents. And the Apostle Paul reinforced that tie to individual behavior and benefit by following those verses with verse 4 which says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
RD: Right. The Apostle Paul made it clear that the 5th commandment does not give license to parents to abuse their kids or treat them in such a way that it inspires disrespect rather than respect. It shouldn’t be necessary to say it but the 5th commandment goes hand-in-hand with the fact that God expects parents to love, guide, and provide for their children. But, and this is a big but, even if parents fail in their obligations children may still not disrespect them. We need to notice that the promised individual blessing for respecting our parents is to the children and not to the parent.
VK: And that is peculiar to modern listeners, isn’t it? We hear an admonition to “honor thy father and mother” and think that the instruction is for the parents benefit. And certainly parents are partially in view. But the benefits of godly children obeying godly parents goes mostly to the children. That’s counterintuitive in our society.
RD: We started out noting that the 5th commandment is a transitional commandment. The first 4 commandments are about honoring God and His creation ordinances. The 5th commandment is a transition from focus on God to focus on man – and, just as in the Garden of Eden, the first thing that God transitions is His authority. Sequentially, God made man after He had made everything else because God was preparing creation for the creature He intended to make in His image. Immediately after making man, God gave man delegated authority by telling Adam to name the animals. God knew Adam wouldn’t find His perfect partner among the animals but God let Adam find that out for himself. And once Adam had discovered this God completed His creative activity by making Eve. Eve’s creation completed creation.
VK: Now that’s something you don’t often hear people talk about. God didn’t stop creating until He had created Eve. It’s like the old joke. God made man but knew He could do better so then He created woman.
RD: Right. Man and woman were both necessary for God’s created economy and His plans for the created order. God only created 2 people directly but God delegated His authority to those 2 and all subsequent human authority has proceeded from the initial delegation. So, in the 5th commandment God ratifies to Moses and the Hebrews that His original delegation is still in effect. Within the family the parents possess God’s delegated authority. God always promises blessings for obedience so he continues that pattern in the 5th commandment. When children respect, obey, and, in time, take care of their parents, God will continue to convey blessings.
VK: Even in the human realm no one should expect to be blessed by disobeying earthly authorities. Disobey your boss and you can expect to be fired. Disobey the law and you can expect to have trouble. Disobey God and He has no reason to layer blessings on you. But, of course, there are people who are in rebellion against God but seem to be blessed.
RD: That’s a subject for a longer discussion. It’s a mystery that evil can seem to prosper for a while? But Proverbs, chapter 24, verses 19 and 20 tell us, “Don’t fret because of evildoers; don’t envy the wicked. For evil people have no future; the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.” But as you noted we certainly should not expect to be blessed by God if we are disobedient to God. And for those who might say they are not interested in God’s blessings – they’re fine with the other fellow – well, that’s a statement so foolish it betrays an ocean sized ignorance. God gave us the 5th commandment and all the commandments so that we would know how to not just enjoy life now but for eternity. This life is only preparation for what comes next. The saddest people of all are those who think that this earth is all that there is because by the time they realize they trifled with transcendent truths it will be too late. Not anything much sadder than that.
VK: But there’s no reason that anyone who listens to Anchored by Truth needs to fear for their eternal destiny. The 10 commandments are just another form evidence of a simple but profound truth - salvation is available the moment we realize that the Bible is the inspired word of God and Jesus is our Savior. This sounds like a great time to go to God in prayer. Since Mother’s Day is right around the corner today let’s listen to a prayer for our mothers and let’s always be quick to show honor and respect if we are so fortunate as to still have our mother present with us on this side of eternity.
---- PRAYER FOR MOTHERS’ DAY
VK: We’d like to remind our audience that a lot of our radio episodes are linked together in series of topics so if they missed any episodes or if they just want to hear one again, all of these episodes are available on your favorite podcast app. To find them just search on “Anchored by Truth by Crystal Sea Books.”
If you’d like to hear more, try out crystalseabooks.com where “We’re not perfect but our Boss is!”
(Opening Bible Quote from the Aramaic Bible in Plain English)
Exodus, Chapter 20, verses 9, and 11, Aramaic Bible in Plain English
When did the Ark of the Covenant disappear (allaboutarchaeology.org)