You say you cannot possibly understand it, and I believe you. You think I am losing my mind? Perhaps I am, but for other reasons than those you imagine, my dear friend.  Yes, I am going to be married, and will tell you what has led me to take that step. light the candle I may see some human face by my side--because--because --I am ashamed to confess it--because I am afraid of being alone.  Oh, you don't understand me yet.  I am not afraid of any danger; if a man were to come into the room, I should kill him without trembling. I am not afraid of ghosts, nor do I believe in the supernatural. I am not afraid of dead people, for I believe in the total annihilation of every being that disappears from the face of this earth.  Well--yes, well, it must be told: I am afraid of myself, afraid of that horrible sensation of incomprehensible fear.  You may laugh, if you like. It is terrible, and I cannot get over it. I am afraid of the walls, of the furniture, of the familiar objects; which are animated, as far as I am concerned, by a kind of animal life. Above all, I am afraid of my own dreadful thoughts, of my reason, which seems as if it were about to leave me, driven away by a mysterious and invisible agony.