There's a real-life Batman prowling Jalisco, Mexico, snatching up bike thieves, taping them to lampposts, and writing "thief" across their foreheads. Stitch thinks more people should be doing this. Then meet Orville, the 121-year-old tortoise at Reptile Gardens who got a birthday party, a tiny paper hat, and all the watermelon he could eat. And a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament in Oregon got shut down for a week because players kept showing up filthy on purpose to throw off their opponents. Toss in some Fourth of July finger warnings and LeBron leaving the Lakers, and that's your Wednesday.

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