Brian and Ryan recap the latest two episodes of The Valley as the gang gears up for a triple-birthday Mexico trip that already feels cursed. Zack and Jasmine get ass facials, Janet reveals a bisexual crush on Michelle, Jesse's broke, Kristen and Luke spiral, Brittany wants to make out, Danny yells "LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOooooo" like he's being paid per usage, and a biblical thunderstorm turns Schwartzapalooza into Schwartzapocalypse.

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