Most people who invest in their own development assume the desire to change is always the starting point. It isn’t.

This episode looks at a distinction that sits underneath almost all of it - the difference between genuinely wanting to change and wanting to want to change. They’re not the same thing, and the gap between them explains a lot of the cases where inner work goes nowhere.

JJ and Alexia get into why people stay stuck even when they’re doing the work. There’s the fear of uncertainty that makes a familiar discomfort preferable to an unknown better, the secondary gains that keep people attached to their problems and the hidden internal commitments that directly contradict stated goals. There’s research here that should stop you in your tracks, and there are client stories that might be uncomfortable if you recognise yourself in them.

No cheerleading. No prescriptions. Just an honest look at the condition that sits underneath almost every other obstacle to change.

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