Paul contrasts the gift of tongues with the gift of prophecy. Both are valuable, but where tongues is valuable for building oneself up, prophesy is valuable for building up others. The focus of exercising our gifts as a gathered worship community is to build up the community in faith. A modern parallel might be how some spiritual practices, prayers and worship songs are appropriate and meaningful and necessary for personal nurture, they are not always most relevant for building up the church community. Paul advocates demonstrating love for seeker (14:16) and other people gathering by ensuring that what is spoken is understood and relevant to where people are at.