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We find ourselves once again at the end of a season. This caps off Season 6 of Blue Canary and it’s been very interesting. I had been thinking about retirement for a couple of years. Once the greatness of it started to settle and the things you missed started to creep back in past the walls you built telling yourself it was the greatest decision you ever made, reality raised it’s ugly head.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy I am retired. But there are things I miss. I mean really miss.

I miss the people. The officers I got to work with every day. The ones who came to me for guidance. The ones who came to me with problems. And even the ones that came to me when they had screwed up.

I miss the work. Serving the community everyday was fulfilling. I knew what I was doing mattered, even when it didn’t seem like it at the time.

I miss the challenges, having to be sharp, fit, strong, and quick. Pitting yourself against bad guys and trying to solve problems on the fly.

I miss the adrenaline. Sure, that’s the thing you’re not supposed to talk about, but it’s there. They way your heart hammered in your chest when the Oh Shit button got pushed. The feeling you had at the end when you had won.

I miss the identity. I miss being a cop. And everything that comes with that.

When I settled on retirement for this season’s focus it was because I wanted to talk about that thing that had been weighing on me. The lack of support.

I had chatted with fellow retired officers who said they didn’t feel supported. I chatted with my military friends who had vastly different experiences upon retiring. And I did my research, looking for programs, communities, and people to help.

What I found just made it worse.

On a positive note, I am doing the DJ thing every Friday form 8am - Noon on the Thin Line Rock Station. Check it out.

https://www.thethinlinerockstation.com/