The Work Behind the Vows

Have you ever found yourself carrying a massive responsibility in your marriage and wondered... Wait, who decided this was my job?!

In this episode of The Work Behind the Vows, Julanda and Words continue their series on the "invisible load" of marriage, tackling the spicy topic of gender roles, household responsibilities, and how they actually divide tasks in their own relationship. From Julanda managing the mental calendar to Words taking on unexpected DIY projects, they pull back the curtain on how to handle the chores and decisions that easily lead to resentment.

They discuss the danger of making decisions without coming into an agreement first, why they believe that "agreement gets the final say" rather than one person making all the rules, and how true leadership in a household actually requires submission. Plus, they share their take on why marriage isn't 50/50, and how to hold space for your partner when they can only give 10%.

If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the unseen weight you carry, this episode is for you.

Make sure to like, subscribe, and hit the notification bell!

ACCESS THE WORK BEHIND THE VOWS TODAY: https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

Want to dive deeper into this series and share your progress with us? Join the Patreon family here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations.

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📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

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#InvisibleLoad #MentalLoad #MarriageAdvice #MarriageCommunication #MarriageProblems #MarriageHealing #HealthyMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageReconciliation #ResentmentInMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #TheWorkBehindTheVows

Have you ever looked at your spouse relaxing and thought, "Must be nice," while you are mentally calculating the grocery list, the kids' school schedule, and the upcoming bills?

In this episode of The Work Behind the Vows, Words and Julanda dive deep into the "invisible load" carried in a marriage. We all easily recognize visible work cooking, cleaning, or paying the mortgage but what about the unseen mental, emotional, and protective weight that keeps a family functioning? When this hidden weight goes unnoticed by your partner, it can quickly lead to feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and resentful.

In this episode, we unpack:

-Visible vs. Invisible Loads: The difference between physical chores and the daily mental gymnastics required to keep a household running smoothly.

-The Mental Calendar: The sheer exhaustion of tracking school events, lunches, hygiene products, and household systems.

-The Emotional Weight: Navigating the emotional needs of children, teaching them hard life lessons, and knowing when to give your spouse grace.

-The Protector & Provider’s Burden: The silent stress of protecting the family, delaying gratification, and preparing for future financial security.

-Communicating the Weight: How to give each other the space to openly discuss the loads you carry without defensiveness or comparison.

Drop a comment below and let us know: What is an invisible load you carry in your relationship that often goes unnoticed?

ACCESS THE WORK BEHIND THE VOWS TODAY: https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

Want to dive deeper into this series and share your progress with us? Join the Patreon family here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations.

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

#MarriageAdvice #MarriageCommunication #MarriageProblems #MarriageHealing #HealthyMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageReconciliation #ResentmentInMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #TheWorkBehindTheVows

Welcome back to The Work Behind the Vows! In today's highly requested episode, Where's Taylor and Julanda get incredibly real about their own journey of rebuilding connection after betrayal. From navigating the pain of infidelity early in their relationship to the daily choices required to maintain a healthy covenant, they break down exactly what it takes to heal.

We dive deep into the difference between simply patching things up and truly transforming your relationship through the "Three R's of Rebuilding." Whether you are recovering from a massive betrayal, lies of omission, or emotional neglect, this episode will give you the roadmap to start fixing the foundation.

In this episode, we cover:

- Our personal story of infidelity, trauma, and choosing to stay

- The 3 R's of Rebuilding Trust: Responsibility, Repair, and Reassurance

- Why transparency should never be used as a weapon for control

- The critical difference between Reconciliation and Restoration

- How faith, God, and individual healing play the biggest role in a marriage's survival

Want the full backstory? Watch our complete 3-hour documentary here: https://youtu.be/h5JzIkJpa7I

ACCESS THE WORK BEHIND THE VOWS TODAY: https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

Want to dive deeper into this series and share your progress with us? Join the Patreon family here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations.

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

#MarriageAdvice #MarriageCommunication #MarriageProblems #MarriageHealing #HealthyMarriage #ChristianMarriage #MarriageReconciliation #ResentmentInMarriage #RelationshipAdvice #TheWorkBehindTheVows

Are you stuck in the "roommate phase"? If your conversations consist entirely of kids, schedules, and daily tasks, it is time to dig deeper! In the final episode of our Communication series on The Work Behind the Vows, Horace and Yolanda Taylor break down how to move past the monotony and get back to those butterfly feelings you had when you were dating.

We are talking all about emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and the 3 distinct levels of conversation. Plus, Yolanda shares a very vulnerable, behind-the-scenes story about the emotional breakdown (and spiritual breakthrough) she experienced the day they closed on their first house.

Homework for this week: Evaluate your conversations. Are you stewarding the "surface level" and "sincere level" so that you can earn the right to have "heart level" conversations? Let us know in the comments!

In this episode, we cover:

- How to create an environment for emotional intimacy.

- The 3 Levels of Conversation: Surface, Sincere, and Heart.

- Yolanda’s vulnerable house-buying story and our beautiful prayer party.

- Is it your spouse's job to notice your unmet needs, or your job to communicate them?

- Listener Q&A: What to do when your spouse shuts down during deep conversations.

- Horace's favorite byproduct of intimacy...

Next Week: We are kicking off a brand-new series! Make sure you subscribe and share this episode with a couple who needs it so you don't miss out.

Want to dive deeper into these exercises and share your progress with us? Join the Patreon family here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

START RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#MarriageAdvice #EmotionalIntimacy #TheWorkBehindTheVows #ChristianMarriage #HealthyMarriage #RelationshipGoals #MarriageTips

Conflict is inevitable, but how you fight says everything about the health of your marriage. In this episode of The Work Behind the Vows, Horace and Yolanda Taylor are breaking down what happens when tensions rise and how to navigate disagreements without destroying your connection.

If you are tired of the same old arguments (yes, we’re still talking about the socks!), it’s time to figure out your unique conflict styles. Are you a Pursuer or a Withdrawer? A Fact person or a Feelings person? We break it all down and give you the exact tools you need to fight fair, drop the ego, and actually resolve the issue.

Homework for your next disagreement: Pause and ask yourself: "Am I fighting to win, or fighting to understand?" Let us know in the comments how this question changes the outcome of your conflict!

In this episode, we cover:

- Why couples who say "we never argue" might actually be in trouble.

- Identifying your conflict style: Pursuer vs. Withdrawer, Fact vs. Feeling, and more.

- The Danger of Pride: Why fighting to win is ruining your connection.

- The 5 Tools for Conflict: The Pause Rule, Same Team Mentality, Safe Words, and more.

- Why weaponizing your spouse's secrets will destroy your marriage.

- Who’s More at Fault? The classic "husband on the phone vs. wife reading in the other room" debate!

Next Week: We are discussing how to rebuild trust when it is broken. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss it!

Want to dive deeper into these exercises and share your progress with us? Join the Patreon family here: https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

START RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#MarriageAdvice #HealthyCommunication #TheWorkBehindTheVows #ChristianMarriage #RelationshipGoals #MarriageTips

Stop arguing and start connecting! In this episode of The Work Behind the Vows, Horace and Julanda Taylor dive deep into what healthy communication actually looks like in a marriage. If you’re tired of feeling unheard or constantly triggering defensiveness in your spouse, this episode is for you.

We are breaking down the words that build trust, the importance of addressing issues "when there is peace," and the real difference between your intentions and your impact. Plus, we answer your listener questions about defensiveness, apologies, and how to stop having the exact same argument over and over!

Homework for tonight: Take 10 minutes, put away all distractions, and simply ask your spouse: "How are you really?" No fixing, just listening. Let us know how it goes in the comments!

In this episode, we cover:

- What healthy communication actually looks like in action.

- Tone, timing, and creating emotional safety for your spouse.

- The danger of "You always" and "You never" statements.

- Active listening vs. Reactive listening.

- Intent vs. Impact: Which one matters more?

- Listener Q&A: Rebuilding emotional safety after hurt.

Next Week: We are tackling unavoidable conflict. We'll break down how to have intense fellowships and how to fight fair. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss it!

SUPPORT THE MINISTRY: Want exclusive content and to connect with us on a deeper level? Join our Patreon family! https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

START RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#MarriageAdvice #HealthyCommunication #TheWorkBehindTheVows #ChristianMarriage #RelationshipGoals #MarriageTips

Studies show that if you improve something by just 1%, you can achieve massive results. Your marriage is no different! You don’t need a huge, sweeping overhaul to fix your relationship—sometimes, it’s a hundred million tiny little things that create a lasting impact.

Welcome back to The Work Behind the Vows with Words and Julanda Taylor! In this episode, the finale of our "Marriage Under the Microscope" series, we’re breaking down the 5 tiny, everyday changes that transformed our connection. From the power of the 5-minute morning cuddle to why you need to STOP trying to "win" your arguments, we’re keeping it real about what actually works.

Plus, stick around for the "Small Change Challenge" where things get a little heated... enter "Calendar Man" and "Sister Mary Julanda"! 😂

If you want a marriage you absolutely honor and love being a part of, this episode is for you. Let’s get it!

In This Episode:

- The 1% Rule: Small Changes, Huge Results

- The Tiny Habits We Almost Didn’t Make (Prayer & Greetings)

- Change #1: Assume the Best Before the Worst

- Change #2: Stop Trying to Win, Start Trying to Understand

- Change #3 & #4: Intentional Greetings & The Power of "Thank You"

- Change #5: Reconcile & Repair QUICKLY (Don't leave the door open!)

- The Small Change Challenge (Things get real...)

- Your 7-Day Homework Challenge!

SUPPORT THE MINISTRY: Want exclusive content and to connect with us on a deeper level? Join our Patreon family! https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

START RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#WorkBehindTheVows #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipHabits #ChristianMarriage #CommunicationInMarriage #MarriageUnderTheMicroscope #WordsTaylor #JelandaTaylor #CoupleGoals

Most marriages don't blow up overnight over one huge issue. They usually fade out slowly because of tiny, everyday habits that go unchecked until it's too late.

Welcome back to Episode 23 of the Work Behind the Vows podcast! We officially beat the odds and passed the average podcast lifespan, and we are incredibly grateful you are rocking with us on this journey. 🙏🏾 For Part 3 of our "Marriage Under the Microscope" series, we are putting the spotlight on the subtle, everyday behaviors that quietly chip away at your connection.

We cover everything from scrolling on your phone while your spouse is talking to keeping score and the toxic impact of the word "whatever." We even play a round of "Habit or Harm" to decode what these moves actually communicate to your partner. Plus, we drop the blueprint on how to replace those bad habits with practices that build a solid, grace-based marriage.

Remember, the habits you build today dictate the health of your relationship tomorrow. Let's do a habits analysis together and put in the work.

👇🏾 JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Which of these habits surprised you the most? Do you and your spouse have a "habit or harm" you are actively working on? Let us know in the comments!

SUPPORT THE MINISTRY: Want exclusive content and to connect with us on a deeper level? Join our Patreon family! https://www.patreon.com/cw/WordsandJulandaTaylor

START RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#WorkBehindTheVows #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipHabits #ChristianMarriage #CommunicationInMarriage #MarriageUnderTheMicroscope #WordsTaylor #JelandaTaylor #CoupleGoals

Does it feel like you and your spouse are just roommates? After 17 years of marriage and working with hundreds of couples, we discovered a hard truth: it’s not the massive arguments that lead to an over 50% divorce rate. It’s the "little paper cuts" , the small, everyday interactions that cause couples to slowly drift apart.

Today on The Work Behind The Vows, Words and Julanda Taylor are putting marriage under the microscope! We’re flipping the script to talk about the small, ordinary things that communicate true love, the daily routines that hold a marriage together, and how our definition of love has completely changed over two decades. Plus, things get heated in our "Who's More at Fault?" segment over an anniversary misunderstanding!

In This Episode:

- The "Paper Cut" Theory of Divorce

- Welcome to The Work Behind The Vows!

- The Sweetest Small Things We Do For Each Other

- Why Teaching Kids to Problem Solve Matters

- The Daily Routines We Can't Live Without

- Greeting Each Other & Setting the Tone at Home

- Has Our Definition of Love Changed? (17 Years Later)

- "Who's More at Fault?" (The Anniversary Dilemma!)

- The 7-Day Marriage Experiment (Try This Today!)

Who do you think was right? Let us know in the comments! 👇🏾

🎟️ Start restoring your marriage and increasing healthy communication today https://theworkbehindthevows.com/

🎧Subscribe for more faith-based marriage advice and real conversations every week!

🔔 Turn On Notifications so you don't miss the next conversation

📲 Follow Words & Julanda on socials

The Work Behind The Vows:

https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/

Words:

https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/

@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Julanda:

https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/

@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Healing is a Lyfestyle, for the latest episodes and visuals!

https://www.youtube.com/@Wordstaylor

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

#MarriageAdvice, #ChristianMarriage, #TheWorkBehindTheVows, #FaithBasedPodcast, #RelationshipAdvice, #HealthyMarriage, #MarriageGoals, #MarriageTips, #ChristianPodcast, #MarriageCounseling, #MarriageRestoration, #PodcastForCouples, #CouplesTherapy, #MarriageJourney, #Spouse, #CommunicationInMarriage, #RelationshipGoals, #BlackLove, #MarriageHelp

Have you ever started an argument over something as simple as a dirty sock on the floor, and 30 minutes later you're fighting about something that happened three years ago? We are taught that communication is the ultimate key to a happy marriage, but what if you're communicating about the wrong things?

In this episode of The Work Behind The Vows, Julanda and Words put their own marriage under the microscope to dissect three of their recent "intense fellowships." We dive deep into the everyday, ordinary conversations to reveal the underlying triggers you might be missing. We discuss why you can't just treat the symptoms of an argument, how your physical environment impacts your mental peace, and why you need to stop bringing the venom from your workday into your living room.

Home is for restoration. Outside is for battle. Let's do the work.

🎟️ Start restoring your marriage and increasing healthy communication today theworkbehindthevows.com

💊 Fuel Your Family's Health with Shaklee: Check out the whole-food vitamins we use for our entire family: https://us.shaklee.com/en_US/wordstaylor/storefront

In This Episode:

- The myth that communication is the key to a happy marriage

- Putting our "intense fellowships" under the microscope

- The Sock Incident: Boundaries, disrespect, and the ego

- How a messy environment impacts your spouse's mental peace and safety

- Treating the root cause instead of just managing the symptoms

- The "Single Parent" joke and why timing is everything

- Taking off your armor: Why your home must remain a sanctuary for restoration

\#MarriageAdvice, #ChristianMarriage, #TheWorkBehindTheVows, #FaithBasedPodcast, #RelationshipAdvice, #HealthyMarriage, #MarriageGoals, #MarriageTips, #ChristianPodcast, #MarriageCounseling, #MarriageRestoration, #PodcastForCouples, #CouplesTherapy, #MarriageJourney, #Spouse, #CommunicationInMarriage, #RelationshipGoals, #BlackLove, #MarriageHelp