The year I changed my own character.

The year I stopped fleeing.

The year I took responsibility of my own becoming.

Of my own happening. Of my own success and happiness, home and surroundings.

The year I learned how to quit being myself, and instead design a new self, deliberately, consciously, maturely.

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The year my heart broke, quietly dying. The year the vision I’ve had for a peaceful future was erased and gone, the house I thought I was living in was thrown up in the air during the calmest summer day and I waved my arms screaming for someone to save me

but this was the year I learned to depend on myself. On my own ability to get by, when I think I can’t, and this was the year I became my own saviour. The year I built my own home. From ground up. A foundation to stand on. A stronger character. A loving heart.

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Because when a heart gets broken, it’s wide open.

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When a heart gets broken, it’s wide open to take in and give out. To learn and to grow, stronger and wiser, and an open heart is a brave heart because it can feel and hear and see it all. An open heart is a brave heart, because it knows there’s no turning back. Only bravely facing forward, one foot in front of the other, slowly moving on to something better, something new.

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This was the year I stopped begging for things to happen, and instead made them happen myself. This was the year I stopped living my life according to someone else’s needs, and instead explored my own.

This was the year I learned to stop begging people to love me. If someone wants to go, let them go. This was the year I learned that every person who shows up in your life is there to teach you a lesson, and they will stay until you have learned what you need to learn. Then they will leave. If you want them to or not, and you must let them. And this was the year I learned that you must dare to leave something or someone completely, leaving that space empty and aching, in order to open up space for something new. And you must know that there is a new lesson and a new person, in a new place with a new life waiting for you.

and this was the year I learned that what’s coming is always better, than what has been.

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Don’t hold on to things that are over. Let them go, bravely.

“If you let go a little you a will have a little peace; if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; if you let go completely you will have complete peace.”

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Music used in this episode:

Round Here - The Glass Child: https://open.spotify.com/track/6ByeAAd2VNbIlrMEabqY1p

Tomorrow - Bensound