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"And I learned that lesson. But then I thought about like the rest of my life of personal healing and like how I didn't just wanted to be reminded of despair. So I decided to choose to live a life into which that despair are. Those ideas are those like continual nationally perpetualized events. As in like you're just in a situation where things are typically dwindling, people are typically losing people, people aren't showing up and you're asked to do more with less or less."