We are near the one year mark of learning about Covid-19. As time has gone by we've seen our emotions and attitudes repeatedly change on how to live during a pandemic. In the beginning, we were all trying to play by an obscure set of rules, but now, it seems we are all individually living in ways that we think best. Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that everything is fine and that its just another day in a pandemic, but my body has been physically responding to the stress I feel on the inside. I miss my friends and the former relaxed ways of being with them. I feel cautious when interacting with people and  feel like I take an actual risk every time someone visits. We talk about the devastating illness, deaths and vaccine but I need to talk about the "feelings side" of Covid... the roller coaster of emotions on trying to be safe while longing for fellowship. Many of us feel stuck and alone and out of control. We want our life back. Some are taking theirs back and moving forward and some are still clinging to the locked down way of living and the combination is making it tricky to relate.