trauma mommy

therapy replacement (with my best friend)


Listen Later

Alright, settle in, because this isn't just any podcast. This is, and I don't say this lightly, a tight-lipped podcast. Yeah, we keep it, we keep it contained. We keep it young and tight. Remember when I used to say that all the time? That was my whole thing. People associated that with me. And that feels good, to be associated with being young and tight.So, here's the deal. We're doing news headlines. But not, like, everyone's dying headlines (I was crying before this looking at headline updates). No, no, no. This is a pre-pod world. Chris Evans proposed to his wife, Alba, and he thinks he screwed it up. And you're like, 'What did he do?' Let me tell you, that guy, he's beautiful, but at what cost? He tried to learn 'Will you marry me?' in Portuguese. Practiced all week. So much that he was making an omelet and just started saying it. Like a song. But it's not a song. It's 'Will you marry me?'. And we found out, it's actually really easy to learn Portuguese. He's a f**king bitch, I hate Chris Evans.Then, then we get into it. Phineas and Ferb is returning. Forty new episodes. Forty! That's, that's a lot for what that show is. I had crippling anxiety watching that show because they never got caught. Candace was so close every time. The mom just thought she was a narc. That bothered me. The mom was a gaslighter. We're talking songs from that show. "Busted". I wanted them to get busted.And then, and this is big, this is where it gets real. I asked about wife swap. Who would I wife swap with? Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Yeah, I want to co-parent with Gypsy for a week. And you're going to ask, 'What was it like killing your mommy?' I want to get into it. And then I find out she's complaining about money, but she's going to Sally Beauty and dyeing her hair all the damn time. Twenty bucks? Girl, I shop at Sally's, you're dropping sixties! We're also talking about crushes. What does a crush mean to you? I've been journaling daily about this since 2014. My first crush, Daniel. My mom would hear me in my room, 'Daniel!' because that was the code to my diary. A real crush is using them as your bank passcode. And then, we talk about Skype. Ali was getting targeted by pedophiles on Skype. Just dicks on the screen. But not me, you know, some people get massive opportunities.Category: Comedy, Cultural Commentary, Unscripted, Entertainment, Pop Culture Keywords: Chris Evans, Phineas and Ferb, Gypsy Rose Blanchard, pop culture, comedy, unscripted, satire, ironic, celebrity, relationships, childhood, internet, Skype, entertainment, funny podcast, bizarre, cringe, dramatic.Follow us @kylievincentthefirst & @alicekaywaller

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

trauma mommyBy Kylie Vincent