The ground was frozen solid. Or at least the first few inches. It offered no give and only a crunch - crunching of the grass and weeds under my boots - crunch crunch crunch.

A client’s relationship with a peer on the executive team is feeling strained. There’s no ease in it, he’s always on guard. What seems now to have been a critical decision some time back to give over any authority or participation might have been a mistake. Has the power dynamic changed, did he inadvertently give up his seat at the table? These were the questions mulling over in his mind. It felt done, there was no going back and he didn’t know how to go forward.

This is the beauty of relating and relationships - they are fluid. At times we may feel stuck, entrenched in a story we’ve made up in our mind. But this is not the truth - there is always give and take - it’s a matter of finding the wisdom within ourselves for what is here for us and the ask of them.

He noticed that he was feeling resistance to the change that was happening in the company he co-founded. They were growing and with growth was coming a new way of being - a new way of operating as a team. He realized there was a story in his mind about the old ways being the best ways, when we were small we could do…now we need all this process and oversight and coordination. This was where his resistance was - the crunch in his steps, and the opportunity for perspective shift - where is the give in the new way? What can he appreciate with greater ease?

Today as I stepped out the earth was soft, we’d had a warm day and my feet could sink into the ground more, especially around the garden where the earth is exposed. The earth is always alive no matter what story I make up about the feel of it.

What is calling you into a new way of relating?

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