Today I Learned that there is evil in the best of us. I was in my neighborhood walking home this afternoon and I saw one of my neighbors. This was one of my neighbors who I sent a letter to humbly asking for a donation for school. I didn’t get a response from this neighbor or any neighbor at all so I was on guard just waiting for him to make some mockery of me. He first tried to bait me into a conversation but I kept quiet and just nodded my head to say wassup. He then tried to compliment my grind by hinting at the progress I had made from sending that letter. I was already sharp and knew that he was trying to set up the joke coming and sure enough he gave me a big laugh and cowardly hopped in his car and drove away. Usually I would of felt insulted and want to take revenge. But for whatever reason I didn’t feel any type of way about that situation. Maybe it was because I was expecting that. I was expecting to be diminished by some people who read the letter and be happy about my current struggles. But what surprised me is how I recognized that behavior so much. That same behavior of diminishing others and being happy about their life struggles is present in me. I have another neighbor who for sometime I was happy that he hadn’t found his way yet. I was happy that he hadn’t grown and realized the errors he made in the previous years. I was happy about this because cuz owed me money for sometime and showed no motivation to pay it back. I found that as an insult becuase I had looked out for the young man. But after sometime the joy I had in seeing this guy slip further and further into his own bad habits turned into disgust with myself for being pleased that someone who wronged me wasn’t doing well for themselves. Even though the guy didn’t pay me back it’s kinda of gross and immature for me to be happy that he hadn’t advanced in life yet. To feed that resentful evil side of me would one day spoil the entirety of my character and thus the entirety of my life. After realizing that I put my copy of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules For Life in the neighbor who owes me money mailbox. That book really gave me more understanding and more fire so hopefully it does the same for him. But gifting him that book was more about me than him. It was about sharing some of my resources with somebody I had wronged. It was about surpressing my evil resentful side by acting the exact opposite way it would want me to. So today I learned that there is evil in the best of us.