Summary

Isn’t having a thick skin and soft heart the best combination? Sadly, that’s the opposite of what we see developing around us today. The push for safe spaces, 25% of the student population at a university claiming PTSD because of the 2016 elections, urging the use of a growing number of pronouns and the general slide in the direction of any taken offense is the fault of the of the other person--not the responsibility of the person claiming to be offended--all speak to a society of folks who have thin skins, and believe that being thin-skinned is somehow virtuous. And the thinner the skin, the harder the heart. The easily offended are among the first to stage an illegal protest, urge confrontation, hound people near their homes or in restaurants, and claiming that others’ actions will “kill millions” or would create “Armageddon.” Yes, those are actual quotes. All the while laying blame for their hard-hearted thoughts and actions on the “other side.”

Transcript

Isn’t having a thick skin and soft heart the best combination? Sadly, that’s the opposite of what we see developing around us today. The push for safe spaces, 25% of the student population at a university claiming PTSD because of the 2016 elections, urging the use of a growing number of pronouns and the general slide in the direction that any taken offense is the fault of the of the other person--not the responsibility of the person claiming to be offended--all speak to a society of folks who have thin skins, and believe that being thin-skinned is somehow virtuous. And the thinner the skin, the harder the heart. The easily offended are among the first to stage an illegal protest, urge confrontation, hound people near their homes or in restaurants, accuse others of being despicable humans, e.g., racists or Nazis, and claiming that others’ actions will “kill millions” or would create “Armageddon.” Yes, those are actual quotes. All the while laying blame for their thin skins and hard-hearted thoughts and actions on the “other side.”

The thick skin, soft heart maxim, recommendation, really, is similar to the twin Results With Reason tenets; the two main tenets that we believe in at Results With Reason are:

Personal Responsibility; practice it, teach it and

Be Your Brother’s Keeper.

The similarity, and the power of both sets of principles, lies in the equal pairing of what are commonly seen as opposites. Thick and thin are clearly opposites; few people pair the two concepts at all, much less pair them correctly. Taking personal responsibility and being equally responsible for others are, sadly, seen as opposites by too many people. In Chinese philosophy, Yin and Yang describes how seemingly opposite forces can be highly complementary, each reinforcing the other in a way that not only adds the power of one to the other, but more than multiplies the power of the two together, creating a powerful and productive force.

Let’s take a look at how today’s pairing, Thick Skin and a Soft Heart, complement each other, and also tie with the two Results With Reason main tenets. In today’s highly divided nation, a thick skin is required for many types of exchanges, in person or online. Whether navigating family conversations, comments and political stances taken at work, or dealing with ridiculous posts on social media, that tough outer layer, designed to shed ignorance and vitriol the way a rain slicker is designed to shed water, is vital. The first thing that a thick skin accomplishes is allowing us to listen calmly to others before we respond. And after we listen and absorb, we can then respond with love and logic to even the most outrageous comments and attitudes. And that’s the second thing that a thick skin allows; it protects our hearts, allowing them to remain soft--no matter the provocation. Soft hearts can be very persuasive; they allow us to think clearly,