This Alien I Grew

Pregnancy Gains | Postpartum Pains | Mom Strength | Breastfeeding Goals | Weaning Hacks

Emi thought her rowing background would prepare her for pregnancy and postpartum, but nothing could have readied her for the surprises of "mom shoulder" and stretchy leggings. Ren, on the other hand, tackled the expectations of postpartum recovery head-on, redefining strength while navigating the realities of her changing body.

02:00 Fitness While Pregnant - weightlifting, walking, with some do’s and dont’s

05:00 Did their workouts shorten labor? Spoiler: science has thoughts.

09:00 Stretch marks, pelvic floor PT, and recovering postpartum

20:00 Breastfeeding means eating SO MUCH MORE than we thought!

27:00 Challenging societal expectations for postpartum recovery

// RESOURCES // 

Motivate Brooklyn: Physical therapy for pregnancy and postpartum recovery.

Meg Squats One Plus One Program: A go-to postnatal fitness plan for moms.

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

Personal finance | Renting | Housing in New York | Neighborhoods

Comedian, native New Yorker, and stealth pregnant Ginny Hogan joins Emi and Ren to discuss: Where should we raise our kids! 

Whether Manhattan, Greenwich, Connecticut and Forest Hills, Queens — we’re here to talk suburban vs. city living, renting vs. buying, public vs. private school. 

00:27 Choices, Choices - Where Should We Live?

01:00 Welcome to the pod, Ginny Hogan

01:12 Manhattan vs Greenwich, CT vs Forest Hills, Queens

02:09 Suburbs/City Living - Which is better?

04:11 What is it like raising kids in the city with no car? What’s it like raising kids in the suburbs with no sidewalk! 

10:19 Private schools, public schools, specialized schools - our babies aren’t even one and we’re thinking about this. 

16:50 Housing options - renting vs buying. Buying isn’t all it’s cracked up to be — but Ren has to go to the mall to charge her car. 

// RESOURCES // 

Emi’s all-star architect: Holly Mumford: [email protected] 

Emi’s amazing (woman!) GC: Shenna Albert: [email protected]

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

Ginny Hogan

https://www.ginny-hogan.com/

X: @ginnyhogan_

Instagram: @ginnyhogan_

Substack: https://ginnyhogan.substack.com/

Ginny’s Comedy Special: Amazon

The Betches Sup newsletter (written by Ginny!):

Maternity Leave | Childcare | Self-Employed Moms | Nanny | Breastfeeding 

When is the right time to go back to work after giving birth? How does a new mom deal with separating from the baby? Do I really want a nanny/caregiver living in my home?

These are just some of the questions new moms have to consider after their baby is born, and the guidelines are SCARCE, to say the least. 

Emi shares her struggles with separating from baby A at the 3-month mark, even though by week two she was going crazy at home. Ren, on the other hand, brought in full-time, live-in help, and was answering Slack messages right away. Hear Emi and Ren talk about the logistics, hormones, and finances of maternity leave and childcare after giving birth to their first babies!

01:15 Challenges of Returning to Work Post-Maternity

02:04 Personal Experiences with Childcare: the awesome and the awful 

04:13 Balancing Work and Motherhood. Is it possible? 

04:48 Emotional Dynamics with Nannies and Daycare

13:23 Cultural Differences in Childcare

17:23 Future Childcare Plans and Reflections

19:28 Fun Fact

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu
Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

Emi has always been a boob guy, but she never expected breastfeeding to consume ten hours a day. While she did love the euphoric breastfeeding bonding time, baby A needed a few tweaks to get her schedule more manageable for her boob supplier.

Meanwhile Ren discusses the internal (and external) pressures of breastfeeding, posing the question: is there a moral superiority complex for breastfeeding moms?  After childbirth, she learned a shocking issue had made Ren unable to nurse — which could become a blessing in disguise. 

We dive deep into the anxiety-inducing expectations around how to feed our babies, managing work/life while being a full-time milk factory, the surprising communal history of breastfeeding, and Ren’s ChatGPT weaning plan.

01:39 Why does everyone feel like they SHOULD breastfeed? 

03:31 What is nursing actually like? 

05:19 Becoming one with the pump

10:58 In 1904 almost no one fed her own baby: a history

12:36 The trends in breastfeeding today 

19:40 Breast milk is free… and the most expensive liquid in the world 

20:05 Pumping pro-tips

22:23 Working while breastfeeding

27:02 Saying NO to lactation - one start-up founder’s spicy hot take

31:39 Ren’s chat GPT weaning plan

RESOURCES:

CDC Breastfeeding Report Card, 2022: https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding-data/breastfeeding-report-card/?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard.htm

New York Times, Inside the Booming Business of Cutting Babies' Tongues

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/18/health/tongue-tie-release-breastfeeding.html

Zara Zhang, Why I’m not breastfeeding (and feeling awesome about it)

https://zarazhang.com/2024/09/02/why-im-not-breastfeeding-and-feeling-awesome-about-it/

The world’s BEST hands-free pumping bra that makes your boobs look like a ninja turtle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E9AS8XC/

Elvies: Worked for Ren, Not for Emi: https://www.elvie.com/en-us/shop/elvie-pump?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgbe7q9HXiQMVBmlHAR3Loi3CEAQYASABEgIv7_D_BwE

Virtual Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) who takes insurance: 

https://go-milkyourself.com/lactation-support

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

AROM | Epidural Labor | No Birth Plan | Nuchal Cord Birth

Ren’s approach to giving birth was as close to “winging it” as you can get - aka going in without a birth plan. 

When Ren didn’t feel her baby kicking for a whole day, she turned to the (dreaded!) Reddit for answers. This prompted her first visit (of many!) to the hospital, and after a little pick-me-up (i.e. a big glass of soda), her little alien perked back up and labor began. From there, Ren took herself to get a pedicure and for a big lunch to start her 36+ labor journey. 

After struggling to dilate past 2 centimeters - and in a lot of pain - Ren opted for an epidural, took a long nap, and without much progress being made even hours later, the doctor broke her water. It wasn’t long after that her baby boy was born and Ren held her little alien in her arms. 

01:23 Baby boy was a little too quiet in my tummy…

02:45 Pedi, Lunch, Shower - the typical labor experience

05:00 Opting for no doula and no birth plan

06:34 Visit #2 to the hospital

09:38 Thank GOD for epidurals

14:12 I’ll take a civilized delivery, thank you

16:45 Nuchal cord delivery - not as dramatic as you think

17:57 Night #2 in the nursery for baby boy

19:53 Having another baby

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

Travel | Flying with babies | New Parents Traveling | Daytrips

Can I travel with my baby? SO many people think travel is impossible with a baby. Emi and Ren, though, have gone through their fair share of baby-traveling and they have some hot tips for new parents. Spoiler Alert: traveling with a baby IS possible! And it can even be…enjoyable? The real question to ask is, will you want to travel as much as you did?

01:15: M + A take on traveling. Is a ten-week-old too young for a vacation?

05:51: Airports + babies = actually ok?

21:24: How to pump on a plane or in the airport 

28:25: Why day trips are the perfect way to travel with babies! 

38:51: If you could go anywhere with your baby, where would you go?

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: @thisalienigrew

Instagram: @thisalienigrew

TikTok: @thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Ren’s Technical Content Agency, Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

PROM | induction | back labor | involuntary pushing | first time mom

Let’s dive into my positive birth experience with epidural-free induced labor as a first-time mom — and why I got an epidural after all! I gave birth with midwives in a hospital in NYC.

I hoped to have a natural, intervention-free birth, but after premature rupture of membranes (PROM), I got to experience twelve hours of Pitocin induction with NO epidural. Then, I experienced terrifying involuntary pushing during labor (aka the fetal ejection reflex). I dive into WHY and WHEN to get an epidural — and how it can help you avoid a C-Section! 

I had an AMAZING and TRANSFORMATIVE  first birth experience, despite early water breaking, an allergic reaction during labor, and a sunny-side up baby. I used hypnobirthing, spinning babies, massage and acupuncture to get through contractions almost pain-free (except in my back). 

I hope this story gives you some inspiration if you're doing an induced birth and want to avoid an induction. 

0:00 Introduction

01:10 My No-Epidural Birth Plan

05:30 Early Water Breaking - Premature Rupture of Membranes (PROM) 

10:44 Naturally labor induction: Acupuncture, Massage, Castor Oil, Breast Pumping, Herbs, Sex

14:13 Pitocin Induction at the NYC Hospital with Midwives

20:49 How I Got Through Contractions Almost Pain Free

22:05 My experience with Nitrous Oxide (Laughing Gas) during birth

22:41 The involuntary pushing urge (or fetal ejection reflex) at 5cm dilation

27:18 How an epidural helped me avoid a C-Section 

28:55 My contractions spaced out on an epidural 

36:23 Pushing 

37:51 Welcome to the world, A!

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: @thisalienigrew

Instagram: @thisalienigrew

TikTok: @thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Ren’s Technical Content Agency, Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

External Cephalic Version (ECV) | Webster Technique Chiropractic | Acupuncture | Spinning Babies

At 31 weeks pregnant, Emi learned she had a breech baby. In the weeks that followed, she did everything she possibly could to try and flip her fetus: chiropractic adjustments using the Webster Technique, acupuncture, Spinning Babies exercises to flip a breech baby, and an ECV (External Cephalic Version) to manually turn the baby around in her uterus. 

Emi also investigated doing a breech vaginal birth. She did EVERYTHING she could to avoid a C-Section. Hopefully this helps you if you are afraid of an ECV, wondering if an ECV might help you, or trying to avoid a cesarean. 

00:18 How I learned my baby was breech 

02:22: Seeing a Chiropractor for the Webster Technique

03:30 Acupuncture for a Breech Baby

03:35 Did spinning babies exercises help flip my breech baby? 

08:09 My ECV experience - getting an external cephalic version in New York City

12:36 How having a breech baby made me a better parent

RESOURCES:

Evidence Based Birth on ECV: 

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/what-is-the-evidence-for-using-an-external-cephalic-version-to-turn-a-breech-baby/ 

Evidence Based Birth episodes on breech vaginal birth: 

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/ebb-296-evidence-on-breech-birth-with-dr-rebecca-dekker-and-sara-ailshire-ma/ 

https://evidencebasedbirth.com/breech-vaginal-birth-with-dr-rixa-freeze-and-dr-david-hayes/ 

Spinning Babies: https://www.spinningbabies.com/ 

New York Times piece on breech babies: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/pregnancy/breech-baby-turning.html 

Vaginal breech birth: https://www.elle.com/life-love/a44842/decline-of-breech-birth/ 

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: @thisalienigrew

Instagram: @thisalienigrew

TikTok: @thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com 

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Ren’s Technical Content Agency, Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/

Best friends Ren Lu and Emi Nietfeld, both 31-year old new moms, contemplate the question: what have we done?!

So many people are deciding not to have kids. (Emi was almost one of them.) So why did we decide to have kids of our own? And why now? (Spoiler: “now” isn’t always Plan A.)

We dish on reluctant partners, cultural expectations, f-ed up families, and the real F-word (fertility) as we navigate through the fog of war and ask: who are we? And: “was having kids worth it?”

01:14 Ren's Journey to Motherhood: wanting to be a mom but struggling to find the right guy who’s ready

02:25 Emi's Journey to Parenting: why she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a parent, and the things that changed her mind. 

09:00 Ren’s devastating diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve

13:45 Maternity leave as a self-employed mom 

20:42 Emi’s egg freezing journey gone wrong 

22:22 Why Emi doesn’t want to be called a “Mom” 

29:38 So, have our screaming potatoes changed us yet? 

35:12 Is mom brain real? Are we more productive than ever?

37:01 Is Having a Kid Worth It?

RESOURCES:

New York Times Story - Kids? A Growing Number of Americans Say, ‘No, Thanks.’ https://www.nytimes.com/2024/07/25/well/mind/child-free-adults-pew-study.html

Ariel Levy’s New Yorker Piece - Thanksgiving in Mongolia

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/thanksgiving-in-mongolia

// CONNECT WITH US //

YouTube: @thisalienigrew

Instagram: @thisalienigrew

TikTok: @thisalienigrew

Emi Nietfeld

Web: eminietfeld.com

Insta & X: @eminietfeld 

Read Acceptance: bit.ly/AcceptanceMemoir

Newsletter: https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ 

Yiren Lu

Web: yirenlu.com

X: @yirenlu

Ren’s Technical Content Agency, Frindle: https://www.tryfrindle.com/