So I'm going back to an old notebook. So things are kind of out of order. But that's not what matters. The process is just about giving voice to insights and things that I see not necessarily putting them in logical order, because putting them in logical order doesn't leave much room for the new creative expression that might come through in sharing that bit. But for starters, last night, I reduced the trazadone by one half, so I took one and a half tries known and I'd have a Seroquel, I want to start taking the half Seroquel, but I don't have a pill cutter. So I might have to get one of those or really just try to cut it in half. And I'm still taking the Hardy nutritionals daily. So where I left off in my old notebook was talking about the body is a perceptual apparatus, and it's also a holographic net. So it's sort of clinging on to the images, it's recording, and associating those images with the past. So I wonder if we can be free from the holographic net, and not record with it not try to find new images to associate with all images. And I actually think that this is partially what builds up for people who have a tendency towards map consciousness. And when this recording isn't going on in map consciousness, the mind sort of touches reality instead of reality being touched by the images, and thus not really meeting reality at all. So the mind moves when the images Don't move. And then the mind moves through us and animates us. And none of this is really true. It's just playing with ideas and thoughts and insights. I feel like the old holograms resonate with the new incoming information and only pick out bits that are similar to it. So it blocks new information and only looks for similar information. And maybe the brain sees this as some type of efficiency, because it's calculating whether or not what it's meeting will serve its purposes. But his purposes have been programmed. So we're meeting life with the purpose as ever programs. And so not really meeting it at all. The net of thought is holographic. And the me is this interference pattern that's interfering with all the new information coming towards us. It interferes with life with actual life. And it seems like human beings are caught in this prison and this net of holographic light and sound. And I feel when this process stops the matter of the brain then speaks life life as its met. And our choosing mechanism RS decision mechanism is part of this net, we're choosing with our net and grabbing those bits of reality. And when we think we send out holograms, when can we stop adding to this collective recording that we all share? And I made up a word holograph phonic. So it's sort of this light and sound and as part of the image making process through which we meet life. And it seems like the universe has created a creature that can harmonize with life with his gestures and words or destroy it. We're the only creature that can really choose to be in disharmony in a way. It's like we can pick an avocado and eat it. Or we can just cut down the tree in terms of First there was the word. It seems like that's choice and we can choose to use the word for destruction or harmonizing. And I had this thought that there are lots of other planets that supported life at some point, and the life eventually developed words and language. And then there was the choice to harmonize with the language or to use it for destruction. And if life chose to use it for destruction, it eventually would destroy the very life that created the language. Language evolved from life from living things. And then the language when used to destroy, eventually destroys life itself. So I had this thought that maybe there are a lot of planets that had life, but they destroyed it. And so it's no longer there. And I remember Alan Watts has a video on YouTube describing how he imagined that life could evolve to destroy itself. And then it would, and I can't remember if he said it in his video, or, or if I tho