This reflection grew out of a quiet realization: this Christmas feels different for me—and I no longer believe that difference is a deficiency.

Rather than forcing myself into the expected mood of the season, I chose to sit with the question of what God might be revealing beneath the surface. What if Christmas is not always about enchantment, but about something sturdier and more sustaining?

In this message, I explore the tension between cultural expectations of joy and the deeper work God often does in quieter seasons. Drawing from the story of Israel in the wilderness, I reflect on how freedom can feel unsettling when it requires trust, and how familiarity can sometimes feel safer than promise.

This is not a message about losing faith or joy.

It is a reflection on grace revealed through clarity, light, and presence—especially when emotions feel restrained.

If this season feels sober for you, you are not alone. And you are not failing Christmas. You may simply be standing in a moment of formation

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ederrikporter.substack.com/subscribe