Please help me get help. I will accept an ally, paid or not, willing to walk with me who is truly free of trans misogyny by reflection, and can help me with confidence of my rightness to move through a diagnosis session with a psychiatrist. Or maybe a few. Someone to set up appointments. Someone to help me do paperwork and file bankruptcy. Someone to set up food deliveries. Someone to hang out with who actually wants to would be sweet too someday.

Fun executive dysfunction example: I just tried starting Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 on my PS3. I laughed out of the training run because I could not not shoot all the pop-ups targets. Even the innocents. It’s a narrowing of thought problem. I was spraying like a beast though.

I tried again with a shotgun (processing) and I genuinely couldn’t fix it without hurting my brain to focus on a way that feels cruel. Even the hungry black girl. Targets all fall.

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