Apple’s back with the iPhone 17 — thinner, weaker, and $100 more expensive (innovation, baby). Meanwhile, a cowboy-hat-wearing robot named Rizzbot is out here complimenting strangers like he’s your drunk wingman. Ultimaker’s new “secure” 3D printers just went full Amish (no Wi-Fi, no fun), and Ted Cruz decided AI should go full Wild West with a two-year no-rules sandbox.

This episode has it all: billion-dollar press releases that create fewer jobs than a Taco Bell, robots in Nikes spitting nonsense, printers stuck in 1995, and DC pretending they understand code. Welcome to the future — it’s insane, hilarious, and you’re the beta tester.

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