Thiss Sucks Podcast

About a year after Jason's death, Lindsey and Brittany sit down with Lindsey's mother, Vicki — "Auntie Vicki" to many — to talk about how traumatic grief ripples out to the people closest to it.

Vicki takes us back to the night Lindsey's call woke her: "Jason's dead." She describes the disbelief, the helplessness of being unable to fix it, and staying up all night waiting for them to come home. That memory played on a loop for months.

Vicki has walked this road herself. She lost Lindsey's father when she was just 26, and that experience let her guide Lindsey through the practical steps no one is ready for. It also meant watching her daughter at the start of a path she knew far too well, and knowing what was still ahead.

Together they talk about how the mother-daughter relationship has shifted, how they've navigated boundaries around Vicki's help with parenting, and Lindsey's commitment to keeping Jason's memory open and alive with the kids.

Vicki's advice for anyone supporting someone in grief: show up, don't judge, and throw out the timeline. She closes with a favorite memory — the day Jason asked for Lindsey's hand in marriage, and the two of them shared a beer.

They also recall joyful and comforting memories, including Dylan's spring training trip and autographs, Caroline remembering Jason coaching and practicing basketball, and both remembering playing sports with him. They discuss trouble sleeping, the importance of not running from grief, hopes for the next year, and thank friends, teachers, and their support network.

Lindsey and Brittany reconnect and discuss how holidays and milestones can unexpectedly intensify grief. Lindsey shares that Mother's Day felt "sneaky" as a widow: despite a busy day of kids' sports, supportive team camaraderie, and family gestures, she later cried privately, missing Jason and grieving future moments of celebrating motherhood without him.

They talk about how letting grief "waves" crash can be cathartic, and about communicating ahead of time how loved ones can show up on difficult days. Brittany describes how Mother's Day has been painful amid infertility, learning to accept "Happy Mother's Day" by reframing motherhood through teaching, being an aunt, and caring for her dog, while also navigating expectations with her husband Pete.

They anticipate upcoming challenges including Father's Day, the memorial golf tournament, the 4th of July tradition, end-of-school milestones, the approaching one-year mark, and Brittany's family anniversary of Suzanne's death, ending with Jason's reminder to "live for today."

In this episode, Lindsey and Brittany dive into the deeply personal idea of religious beliefs and have a conversation about how faith shifts after profound loss.

Lindsey opens up about the intense anger and doubt that followed Jason's death, touching on the struggles that come with common platitudes, Catholic teachings, and lingering questions about purgatory, the afterlife, and whether our loved ones can send us signs or visit us in dreams.

Brittany, a lifelong Catholic, shares how her own faith was tested during her infertility journey and the COVID era — and how leaning into the study of her beliefs ultimately deepened her faith and brought her a sense of peace, including a greater understanding of intercession and purgatory.

Together, they arrive at a beautifully honest conclusion: faith is ever-evolving, all paths deserve respect, and as Jason always reminded us — live for today, because tomorrow is promised to no one.

In this episode, Lindsey shares the feeling of being trapped in a repetitive, dark loop of grief nearly six months after Jason's death, juggling parenting responsibilities that leave little space to mourn and feeling farther from him, so she talks to his photo throughout the day.

She describes taking the Australia trip she and Jason had booked for the kids' spring break, inviting her father-in-law Scott to join, and choosing to go with no expectations while trying to "find Jason in the little things," guided by her mom's reminder: "Get busy living or get busy dying."

After returning, Lindsey and Brittany debrief the two-week visit with Jason's brother Andy and sister-in-law Becki near Sydney, noting smooth travel, a slower pace of life, and Lindsey's surprising reprieve from omnipresent grief. Lindsey recounts a family moment spreading Jason's ashes at the beach and reflects on balancing closure with staying connected, including a video of Jason's laugh that made him feel present, and her hope that happy memories will eventually outweigh sadness.

When Life Doesn't Go as Planned: Moving Forward in 2026

Lindsey and Brittany reflect on entering 2026 after a difficult 2025, sharing highlights from earlier in the year focused on experiences and travel, including mother-daughter and father-son trips, a California road trip with Disneyland, and a Midwest baseball stadium road trip through Madison, Milwaukee, and Chicago.

They discuss how life can upend expectations, with Brittany sharing her later-in-life marriage, infertility journey, and the grief of missing expected milestones, as well as reframing a child-free life with peace and new freedoms.

Lindsey relates this to grieving Jason and the pain of future milestones he won't be present for, while emphasizing perspective, "moving forward," and making small daily choices toward joy.

They note the importance of not assuming things in life are guaranteed, acknowledge that platitudes can be unhelpful even when time and micro-decisions matter, and share their intent to continue to move forward in 2026.

Facing 2026: Embracing Hope and Navigating Grief

In this heartfelt episode, Thiss Sucks reflects on the challenging transition into 2026, discussing the journey of grief following the loss of Jason in August 2025.

Lindsey shares personal experiences over the past months, including the support from the 'Best Christmas Ever' organization that provided hope and community during the holidays.

Thiss Sucks delves into the emotional juxtaposition of sadness and the pursuit of joy, illustrated through poignant anecdotes, including a touching conversation with her daughter. With a blend of humor and sincerity, the episode conveys the universal struggle with loss and the importance of finding new paths to happiness and healing.

As they embrace the Year of the Horse, Lindsey Brittany explore the metaphor of the buffalo facing storms head-on, symbolizing resilience and the courage to confront grief directly, while seeking moments of joy in the journey ahead.

Welcome to Thiss Sucks Podcast - what happens when life throws you a giant curve ball and you're suddenly alone to parent two small kids and you're trying to navigate this thing called life. This first episode talks about the unexpected happening August 22, 2025 to Lindsey and her kids and how they are continuing to navigate this new reality. November 10 is Jason's birthday and in honor of this we wanted to put out the first episode of Thiss Sucks.