Ephesians 5:29 says, "No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." Read or listen to this material from Your Marriage God’s Way to learn how to cherish your wife.

Table of ContentsFirst, Cherish Your Wife by Making Her SupremeSecond, Cherish Your Wife By Considering Her PerceptionHobbies Are Okay for Husbands, But...Repent If You Make Your Wife Feel Like Second PlaceThird, Cherish Your Wife By Being Ruthless with AddictionsAn Important Note for Wives

Ephesians 5:29 says, "No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." Because this is a marriage passage, we must look past Christ's relationship with the church to learn about a husband's relationship with his wife. In other words, because Christ cherishes His bride, a husband must cherish his wife. Here are three ways to cherish your wife if you're a husband!

First, Cherish Your Wife by Making Her Supreme

When Scripture says, “A man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife” (Ephesians 5:31), it isn’t encouraging husbands to cut their parents out of the couple’s lives. However, it is a profound command that should challenge husbands to examine their priorities. A man’s wife should be more important to him than his parents. To appreciate the significance of the command, we need some familiarity with the marriage customs of Jesus’s and Paul’s day.

A Jewish betrothal (or engagement period) typically lasted one full year. During that time, the groom’s primary responsibility was preparing a place for himself and his bride. He would then return for his bride on an unexpected day and hour and take her to the place he had prepared. For those acquainted with Jesus’s promise to His future bride in John 14:1-3, this should sound familiar:

Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

Where is the place Jesus is preparing for His bride, the church? His Father’s house. Similarly, a Jewish groom would prepare a place for himself and his bride on his father’s property. The newly established residence might even add to his father’s residence. This kept the newly married couple under the groom’s parents’ authority.

With this custom in mind, when Jesus and Paul quoted Genesis 2:24, that “a man should leave his father and mother,” their words could not have sounded more radical to the culture of the day. Even though a man’s father and mother have been the most critical earthly figures in his life up until his wedding day, he is commanded to leave them to be joined by his new bride. Because a husband is to leave his parents for the sake of his wife, he should be willing to forsake anything (except for Christ) for her. Second to a husband’s relationship with Christ, his wife must be the supreme person in his life. A wife should never feel threatened by anyone or anything. A husband should have no earthly relationship that competes with his union with his bride.

Second, Cherish Your Wife By Considering Her Perception

When wives feel like they are in second place, it’s not usually because of another woman. Women often think that their husbands prioritize an activity or hobby over them. It could be sports, television, cars, alcohol, friends, work, video games, education, and even children. Yes, a husband’s relationship with his wife should be supreme, even above his relationship with his children. I love my children more than I can express in words, but I still let them know— and more importantly, let Katie know—that I love Katie the most. The kids have asked me, “Who do you love the most?” I tell them, “That’s easy. Mommy!”

Note the emphasis here is on how a wife feels.