Y'all aboard! This week, Dickie is offering up a blousy, guided tour of the infamous RMS Titanic on the first of a three-part series.

This week, we'll answer...

What that ship do?

Where did they cook things?

Where did they eat these things?

Where did they store the things before things was eaten?

What color did they paint the Third Class Dining Saloon?

Are you ready to fantasize about the ship's 2nd Butcher and Confectioner bunking up together?

All shall be revealed in due time, plus some troublingly grim news-du-jour about exported Indian spices.