Togetherness Redefined

Today I want to lean in with you and have a conversation about mental health and motherhood. It’s a conversation I’ve danced around for years, watching some mom friends struggle and suffer while others have hidden against the mental health stigma that never seems to quit. Lately, though, I’ve started to see so many women (and men) in my life rise above all the reasons not to face their mental health issues, and as I’ve seen their courage and how beautiful it is, I’ve started to find my own. In today’s togetherness tip and podcast interview with Paola Sur, we’re tackling the topic of mental health and how it affects motherhood - and how we can all find what we need to use our commitment to being mentally healthy for our family’s benefit.

First, I’ll share the short version of my story:

“Are you willing to take control of your anxiety?”

That question hit me hard - especially since I didn’t even think I had anxiety. I mean, wasn’t anxiety something that caused panic attacks or was at least more serious than my little worries? Sure, I woke up in the middle of the night sometimes drenched in sweat with a serious worry reel dancing in my head and I often felt paralyzed by chest pains and horror-movie-worthy scenarios that randomly played on the movie screen of my mind, but didn’t everyone?

Then I realized that no, those things aren’t normal - especially as they kept getting worse and worse when my mom passed away and started hitting me full-on when my husband had a health scare, taking whole chunks of nights and days away in constant unrealistic worries.

I had to be willing to take control of my anxiety. I didn’t like feeling like it was taking control of me and affecting my family.

Thankfully, I had help - mainly in the form of some very brave people in my life who I have watched overcome their own mental health challenges.

Standing in awe of their bravery helped me find my own.Admitting I was struggling was the first step and getting help so that my mental health could thrive was the second.

So now I have a daily yoga, journaling, and meditation/prayer practice, and I take supplements, make sure nothing gets in the way of my nature therapy sessions, talk about my anxiety with my friends and family, and try to be quick to admit when I need more help.

Sometimes, though, that’s not enough and it takes more of my attention. Sadly, you probably know what I’m talking about.

There’s too much of a stigma - too many people thinking their only option is to bottle up their feelings, “get over it already”, or take a hastily prescribed medication in secret.

It can feel too hard to speak up and get help sometimes, and when we do, we’re often misunderstood with people thinking we’re weak or fragile or need constant checking in on or can’t function.

When are we going to stop pretending we can be everything to everyone at every moment and finally take care of ourselves?

When are we going to get rid of the stigma and our own unconscious bias about mental health?

When are we going to realize that standing up for our own mental health is a HUGE way to show love to our family - and a BIG family togetherness win for generations to come? Right now - that’s when.

Sharing our stories can help.

Stepping out and talking about how mental health issues have shown up in our families in the past can help, too.

Because whether we realize it or not, every single family has been touched by a need for mental healthcare just like every single family has been touched by a need for physical healthcare.

Sadly, it’s most often the mental stuff that goes untreated (and causes significant damage) for far too long.

But I have a feeling we are the generation changing that.That’s why today’s podcast and videocast with writer, author, and anxiety warrior Paola Sur is one I’m so proud to share.

If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety - or have a family member who has fought any type of mental health issue - I hope you find so much strength here.

(And I hope you’ll come over to the email group after you listen and share your story, too.)

A few links from our discussion:

• Paola’s book The Anxious Mom Manifesto

• Paola’s resources and tips for moms dealing with anxiety

• Paola’s blog & newsletter

• How to know if you have anxiety

• Celeste’s “How to Chase the Mama Blues Away” togetherness tip

• Celeste’s book

• Help for getting into a daily journaling practice at Mamas Who Write

• Celeste’s personal development and coaching programs
  
  

Listen to the podcast here ⤵

Or, if you want to see our smiling faces while we chat,

Hop over to the videocast here ⤵

Here are a few of my favorite moments from the interview:

“You CAN control the anxiety monster and keep it from controlling your life - it’s about the mind, body, and soul.”

— Paola Sur

“We have to remove the stigma about mental health.”

— Paola Sur

“It’s going to be a monster I can master and make work in my favor.”

— Paola Sur

Want to connect with Paola?

You can connect with her here and order your copy of The Anxious Mom Manifesto here.

Want to connect with Celeste?

You can connect with her here.

Want to find more support for your own personal growth?

Come over to our free email group and introduce yourself. Talk about your questions and get some inspiration from our togetherness tips every Friday morning.

(And if you’re feeling inspired, I’d love to see you over at Mamas Who Write.)

I’ll see you there!

The year was 2008 and I was starting to think about how I could help my oldest son - my first baby - get ready for preschool. I didn’t know anything about gifted, quirky, or anxious kids back then, but I knew I wanted my son to keep his unique personality, have fun, and keep learning. I also knew getting him ready to do that in a classroom would be a long road.

Three-year-old Elijah was a wild child. His brain moved faster than his words (meaning I was the only person who could understand his speech), and his energy level was a 10 from early morning all the way until midnight most nights. Naps were a distant memory and bedtime routines lasted hour after hour each night with more books and songs and backrubs than I knew it was possible to give.

He was beyond ready to learn, bored almost immediately with every new concept or learning toy I introduced. And yet, the thought of him sitting still in a desk hour after hour was laughable to anyone who met him.

It was quite the workout for this mama (especially with trying to raise his little brother and work, too), but so extremely rewarding. I’ve since met many mothers with similar stories. Some of us tried homeschooling from the start and others fell into it when school didn’t work. Most of us moved forward slowly and cautiously, not sure which step to take next.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was doing everything right.

(Well, most of the big things, at least.)

Now Elijah is a teenager, and I can see his giftedness, his unique abilities, and his quirky talents shine through desire-led homeschooling. I wish I could go back and tell myself how well it was all going to turn out.

And yet, we still have tough days. There are anxieties that come along with giftedness - for kids and parents alike - and there are times when I’m still not sure about what exactly I’m doing on the road of out-of-the-box homeschooling we’re on.

That’s why I’m so excited to share this week’s podcast interview with you - an interview with Colleen Kessler from Raising Lifelong Learners.

Colleen is an author, a homeschool mama, and a helper of countless families who have kids in the anxious, gifted, and quirky kids category. She has a master’s degree in Gifted Education, and she uses it to design resources for families all over the world.

In the podcast, we talk about helping our kiddos through all sorts of things (especially anxiety, sleeplessness, and active imaginations), how to take care of ourselves as moms of these beautiful people, and even how to go after big mama dreams too (because that’s what I do every time I get a chance to chat with mamas who write in the wild!).

A few links from our discussion:

• Colleen’s website Raising Lifelong Learners

• The Anxiety Toolkit

• A sweet Instagram photo of Colleen’s daughter packing up the Anxiety Tookit orders

• That post where Colleen shares help for kids who can’t sleep

• The Learner’s Lab (Colleen’s membership community)

• Colleen’s books: 100 Backyard Activities That Are the Dirtiest, Coolest, Creepy-Crawliest Ever and Raising Resilient Sons

• Celeste’s book

• How to find your local independent bookstore where you can purchase Colleen’s book

• Make Your Worrier a Warrior book

• A resource for connecting to Telehealth for anxiety and mental health issues

• Reach out to Colleen

• Reach out to Celeste

Listen to the podcast here ⤵

Or, if you want to see our smiling faces while you listen, Hop over to the videocast here ⤵

Here are a few of my favorite moments from the interview:

“The quickest way to burn out as a mom of any kind is to forget about yourself and who you are.”

— Colleen Kessler

“The time you take to perfect your craft is just as important as meal planning or anything else you do.”

— Colleen Kessler

“We don’t want our kids to think motherhood is the absence of self.”

— Colleen Kessler

Want to connect with Colleen?

You can find her here.

Want to find more support for your quirky kiddos and your own creative self?

Come over to our free email group and introduce yourself. Talk about your questions and get some inspiration from our togetherness tips every Friday morning.

(And if you happen to be a mama who writes like myself and Colleen, I have some extra goodies for you right here.)

I’ll see you there!

You probably won’t believe this, but 15 years ago I was a stay-at-home mom with a brand-new baby trying my hardest to find a job online so that I could stay home with my little guy during the day and contribute something valuable in a way that I felt good about - and that would bring in some income for my family.

We were working for a church at the time living on about $400 per week, barely scraping by, and I had just tried and failed to write a manuscript that I thought would propel me into author awesomeness - a manuscript that, after I gave it to everyone I knew and loved, immediately made me want to never write another word again.

I was stuck.

• Dreaming of traveling with my little family but having no money to do it.

• Wanting to become a writer but feeling hopelessly devoid of talent, opportunity, or the resources to become one.

• Hoping to contribute to the world but wondering if I had anything to give.

• Wishing I could go to grad school but not even dreaming I could.

Until one day, when I was out for a walk and felt this question drop into my soul:What if there’s more?

To which I replied, “Yes, there has to be more,” and 9 months later found myself selling everything I owned and moving across the globe to Sydney, Australia with my family, then moving back home again a year and a half later, hitting a brick wall again, and venturing out on a full-time travel adventure I never even dreamed could be possible.

And now, I’ve published my first book and I get to talk to you about going after your dreams (while I’m secretly plotting and planning for my next big dream) every single day.

It still blows my mind just thinking about it.

Needless to say, I’m a big fan of going after big dreams - especially when they seem impossible,especially when they’re the kind that promote BIG family togetherness.

That’s why I couldn’t resist having Kristen Noel, co-creator of Best Self Magazine, on the podcast to share her best tips for speaking life into our dreams to make them happen.

A few links from our discussion:

• Kristen’s creation Best Self Magazine

• Where we met (the best campground in the world)

• More about love notes from mamas

• Finding a writing community with Mamas Who Write

• Something to help you go after your biggest dreams today

Listen to the podcast here ⤵⤵⤵

Or, if you want to see our smiling faces while you listen, Hop over to the videocast here ⤵⤵⤵

Want to connect with Kristen?

You can find her here.

Want to find more support for speaking life into your big dreams and the big dreams of your kiddos?

Come over to our free email group and introduce yourself. Talk about your biggest dream for yourself and your family and get some inspiration from our togetherness tips every Friday morning.

I’ll see you there!

Why Writing Could Be Your Next Big Adventure

Celeste Orr + Nicole Gulotta

Are you a writer?

Do you think you might be?

How do you know if you are one or not?

All of these questions tend to crop up for us moms when we start dreaming bigger and bigger and bigger in life - and for some of us, they keep cropping up for years. Along with a few more like,

Could I find work as a writer?

How do I know if I’m good enough?

How do creativity and writing work when I’m such a busy parent?

What if I’ve failed in the past or put out something that was humiliating?

Could I ever find the time and the courage to write?

So that’s exactly what this week’s podcast is all about.

In this episode of the podcast, I’m interviewing writer and author Nicole Gulotta about the writer's journey, how any mom can find the time and courage it takes to write, and how it might just be YOUR next big adventure.

Why Writing Could Be Your Next Big Adventure

Celeste Orr + Nicole Gulotta

Links to the things that pop up in our discussion:

• Nicole’s first book Eat This Poem

• Nicole’s most recently published book Wild Words

• How you can join the Wild Words Collective Community

• Previous podcast with mutual friend Jenn Norrell from Finding Walden

• Celeste’s book

• How I encourage other writer moms - the Mamas Who Write program

• More on seasonal creative living w/ Nicole

My favorite moments:

I think if you have that inclination at all and you’re even questioning ‘Am I a writer?’ I think you are one. . . We sort of confuse the writer inside of us with the outer world of publishing and that sense of acceptance we receive. . . which is often an external pressure we put on ourselves. . . It’s definitely a complicated relationship.

What if I take a lot of these lessons about flexibility and adaptability that are being applied to my life as a new parent and what if I took this new philosophy and applied it to my writing life?

I find the more that I just go with it and trust my creativity in that way, it usually works out in the end.

It’s not so much about finding time. It’s about making space.

I think a lot of us spend some time waiting for someone else to give permission for us to share our story first . . . I think if we can move past that piece and not think about who’s going to read the book or the editor that’s going to pick it up or the publisher that’s going to publish it, we have to just start with our story and our truth and what’s most important to us first.

There is something that has happened to us - or whatever story it is that we want to share - that only we can tell and there is someone out there who that story will resonate with. There’s someone out there that is maybe a few years behind you in the lessons that you have learned. That always helps me move forward and reminds me how powerful our stories are.

You’re a writer always. You’re an author sometimes.

It’s true:If you have a story in your heart to tell, writing really could be your next big adventure.

It might also be your next big adventure if you’re looking for a way to

• grow exponentially in the personal development department
• step into your true self
• get the junk out of your head so you can be fully present with your family
• overcome a hard time, or
• make the most of your time and your biggest and best family memories.

Whatever your reason, I hope this podcast sparks the dream inside your heart today.

And remember. . .

Want to connect with Nicole and Celeste?

You can find Nicole at thewildwords.com and chat with Celeste in the Togetherness Redefined email group.

Want some help building your own writing practice, getting better at journaling consistently, starting a blog, or stepping into publishing your own book?

If so, come on over to Mamas Who Write today and let me encourage your socks off - I’ll see you there!

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