The Champions League league phase is finally wrapped — and somehow, everybody we expected to qualify… qualified anyway.

We break down why the Premier League absolutely ate this format, Chelsea surviving by vibes and João Pedro heroics, Napoli embarrassing themselves in Europe (again), and Arsenal treating the final matchday like a training drill.

There’s chaos over Conte’s European reputation, heated debates about “risk-averse” football, Palmer propaganda, Gyökeres skepticism, Kane discourse that nearly ended friendships, and a wild proposal to let teams pick their knockout opponents (UEFA, don’t try this).

We also argue over who actually impressed in the league phase, who nobody wants in the knockouts, and whether this new UCL format delivers drama or just the illusion of it.

As always: big takes, bigger agendas, and absolutely zero chill.

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Intro, vibes, and Chelsea fans warming up

01:05 – Final UCL league phase explained & top-8 breakdown

02:00 – Premier League dominance in Europe

03:40 – Chelsea vs Napoli chaos & João Pedro saves the day

06:10 – Maresca tactics: overthinking vs fixing it mid-game

09:00 – Palmer discourse & “20% Palmer” propaganda

11:30 – Stop blaming individuals: why Chelsea’s first half was doomed

13:05 – Arsenal rotation game: “we learned absolutely nothing”

15:00 – Gyökeres hype vs Premier League reality

18:00 – Risk-averse football: control vs entertainment

22:00 – EPL physicality vs UCL freedom explained

25:00 – “Premier League games are boring” debate

29:00 – Does the new UCL format lack jeopardy?

31:30 – Wild proposal: teams picking knockout opponents

34:30 – Why finishing top still feels unrewarded

37:30 – Most impressive teams of the league phase

40:00 – Arsenal’s European statement games

42:10 – Harry Kane discourse goes left 😭

45:00 – Kane vs trophies vs legacy debate

49:30 – Best players of the group phase

52:00 – Who nobody wants in the knockouts

55:30 – Dark horses, dark donkeys & bad vibes

59:30 – Final predictions & outro chaos