The myth persists that the way to get the love or friendship you desire is by pouring into the person you care about - whether that be energy, emotions or financial resources. Nothing could be further from the truth - it is the giver that becomes entangled in the relationship the more they give, making it near impossible for them to walk away as they fall prey to sunk cost fallacy. Meanwhile, because of the law of diminishing returns, the recipient appreciates the giver less with each act of care and kindness that is given. The only way out for the over-giver in this dynamic is to find a way to reverse the roles.

Please send your thoughts to [email protected] and they will be addressed in a future episode.

Some materials you might find helpful:

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Generous Person, or Over-Giver? Always Gift-Giving? by Andrea M. Darcy, Harley Therapy: https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/generous-person-or-over-giver.htm#:~:text=Over%2Dgiving%20tends%20to%20come,or%20with%20the%20other%20person.

The Wound That Causes You To Over Give by Amy Chan, Heart Hackers Club:

https://hearthackersclub.com/the-wound-that-causes-you-to-over-give/