At age 18 I was kicked out of my home. One year later I decided to enlist in the Army in the worst head space I've ever been in. When I was stationed in Alaska, I was pissed off, angry, depressed, sad, alone, and hated myself. I was trying so hard to run away from my pain and run away from all the things in my head but they would always get louder and louder. My 4 years in the Army I dedicated to myself, my career, and the gym. The gym is where I could feel something else aside from all the other emotions I felt that I already mentioned.

 

After getting out and looking back to how I trained while I was in the Army, all I was doing was self abusing myself. I was beating myself down and down only because I wanted to pick myself up. Sometimes when we look out our lives we think, "fuck this is all just confusing" and the path to fixing it is even more confusing, but necessary. One thing I have learned in my years of training is, no matter what is going on in your life, in your head, you can not cure it with training. You need to confront those issues and fix them before killing yourself in the gym. 

 

"Find your happiness"

 

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