When I was 14, I had a girlfriend named Jane. I told her I loved her, she told me she loved me. And we did. What we were feeling was the pinnacle of our emotional lives up to that point. The working definition of the word “love” had just been elevated. It was all we knew of love. So, therefore, when we said “I love you”… We were being honest.    Then came a new girlfriend. And I looked back at my 14 year old definition of love and sort of laughed… Because NOW I loved THIS girl… Because the experience was  SO much different than the previous one.    Then came a new girlfriend. And this girlfriend’s name was Elyse. And I REALLY loved her. She was different. She was wife material. And that feeling—that new uncharted waters type of feeling—became what “love” meant to me. Elyse became my new definition of love.    And there we were, getting married, in love. She was my new standard. And all previous girlfriends and those definitions of love were laughable. Because that’s how life works.   We experience something, we find a word for it, and that stays as our definition of it… Until it doesn’t. Until a new experience comes along and redefines the word.    It would be foolish to ignore how these things evolve… We’d be missing what life has to offer us.    You might “love” a specific type of ice-cream, but that’s quite different than the LOVE you experience when someone embraces you after a failure.    You might describe something as “powerful” or “amazing” but that all changes when you watch your wife labor and birth your first child… That’s powerful. That’s truly amazing.    And, all of a sudden, your definition of love expands a bit more.    Something I’ve observed with all of these spiritual teachers I surround myself with is their ability to “transcend and include.” Along their path of spiritual development, their lives are continually being broadened into more expansive, open, inclusive spaces. “There’s MORE room at the table for MORE people.” “More experiences fit under these definitions of a word like ‘God’…”    There’s less fear, less exclusion, less walls and fences and more bridges and compassion.    Because their love has grown. Their first-half-of-life definitions don’t satisfy anymore… They don’t negate the previous experiences, but they transcend them… They transcend and include the previous definition… Like how a tree grows from the inside out. The center isn’t necessarily getting bigger, the edges are adding onto the original sprout. It’s expanding and including…    I wonder if you can observe that in any area of your life?    Are you finding that the previous definitions or ideas or rules or beliefs just don’t hold the same weight they once did?    A friend described it like putting on a sweater that’s a few sizes too small. You can make it work, sort of, but its uncomfortable (at best), and suffocating (at worst).    Any time I see an older man getting riled up at a Trump rally, or seeing hate speech come from anyone over the age of 30… It’s just clear that they are working with a simpler set of tools… And that they haven’t done much work.    When I see young men joining gangs or standing outside Rob Bell events with a megaphone and a Bible… I can actually find some grace for them, as they’ve found something to put all of their prepubescent passion behind… Their hormones are literally filling up behind their eyes and they need some sort of outlet.    But that’s first-half-of-life stuff. That’s trying to find your way through life… When I see people that SHOULD be elders by now… Village elders… People with wisdom to share and speaking truth into these little whipper-snapper’s lives… But instead they’re still trying to bring things BACKWARDS… It’s sad. And it’s something we actually need to mourn. That we don’t have more elders in our lives. True elders. Not just a label at church, and not just a label for people that are old.    People that have done the hard work of PAYING ATTENTION for 60, 70, 80 years, and have had their definitions of love and peace and joy and unity expanded time and again… So that we might sit at their feet and learn from them; get a head start; skip years of trying things our own way; learning from what they’ve learned.    I know this sort of started with me at 14, then ended up feeling all political and mourning the lack of elders in our lives, but that’s sort of a snapshot of where we’re at today.    We need to recognize what’s at stake, and why it’s so important to continually have our minds, hearts, souls transcend and include… Why we need to be seeing fruit in our lives that we’re growing larger and more inclusive, not smaller and more territorial.    We’ve seen what territorial gets us… We’ve seen what fear gets us. We’ve seen what arrogance gets us.    A prayer I have for my life is that as my body and my physical self matures, that my emotional and spiritual self does the same. We see far too many men that are physically and financially mature, but are emotionally and spiritually toddlers.    There’s a great moment in Jesus’ ministry captured in Luke 12… This guy Luke was a medical professional, and he was obsessed with accuracy and details, and so he took it upon himself to document Jesus’ life and write down things that he and other people had witnessed Jesus do and say.    In Luke 12, Jesus has all these crowds around him; crowds so large that they were trampling on each other. At one point, someone in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me!”    [ READ LUKE 12:13 through end ]   Maturity is marked by our fears falling away… In light of all we’ve seen and experienced in life… Knowing that worry or any backwards energy won’t ADD to our lives…    We’re then able to live with open hands.    “But can’t those people get taken advantage of?!” Yes… Of course. And there’s a good chance they will. But that’s on the person that’s taking advantage of them. A field of flowers doesn’t choose not to grow for fear of maybe being picked by a passerby. Those flowers are responsible for one thing: Blooming.    Seeds that fall into sidewalk cracks don’t choose not to grow. They grow, because they’re wired to do that. If someone steps on them? That’s on that person’s conscience… not the flower’s.    I’m not advocating for us to position ourselves to be victims, or stay in hostile environments. Those instincts we have for self-preservation are God-given… They’re important. They’re the reason we’re here today and the world isn’t run by dolphins. We survived, we thrived, we evolved, God gave us the ability to adapt and learn and pass those adaptations down from generation to generation.    But when that instinct for self-preservation results in an entire life marked by “us vs. them” and “fear” and “worry” and “conspiracy theories…” We have to take note.    Whenever I’m discussing an idea or a person as a new example to learn from, I always look at the fruit that idea or belief or person is producing. You’ll always know a tree by the fruit it produces. Might look healthy, but if it’s not producing healthy fruit, it’s not healthy.    By fruit, I mean what’s flowing out of their lives. What’s surrounding them? What is going on in their midst? When they show up, do things improve? Are the people surrounding them BETTER versions of themselves? Or worse…    Luke 7:15 “Beware of the false prophets, [teachers] who come to you dressed as sheep [appearing gentle and innocent], but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them [that is, by their contrived doctrine and self-focus]. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the unhealthy tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore, by their fruit you will recognize them [as false prophets].   What about you? What about the fruit from your life?    Is what you’re producing wholesome, beneficial, fruit for everyone around you?    Do your beliefs (and what you believe about yourself and others) create MORE or LESS peace in your life? Do your beliefs open your eyes and broaden your definition of love? Or do they keep you stuck, afraid, isolated, terrified that you might somehow get it wrong and God (or whatever God-figure you have in your life) might withdraw His blessing?    Look at the FRUIT of what you believe. Play those things out. How do those things pan out for you? Do they result in more life and love and soul-level satisfaction? If they don’t, re-examine those beliefs.    Same with our actions, same with our politics, same with our bodies and physical health…    If I had stuck with my first love at 14, COMPLETELY satisfied with this “love” I had found… Think of all the beauty in my life I would’ve been sacrificing. If I had refused to grow in what I understood love to be, I’d still be back there with that freshman-year-type-of-love…   But instead, as a result (or you could even say “the fruit of”) allowing my beliefs to evolve, I have a new love… And that love produced two new humans, that are even now expanding and redefining what I understand LOVE to mean…    My encouragement to you today is simply this: Don’t get stuck. Don’t let fear drive. God is not BEHIND US, somewhere in the past beckoning us backwards… He is both WITH US and AHEAD OF US, calling us into deeper waters, more expansive and beautiful truths, and completely new ideas that just might change the world.    I love you guys, make it a good day.