When ego-mind feels like it is being swamped by emotions, we try to stop them by distracting ourselves, by blaming someone or blaming ourselves. It has been said that emotions can be transmuted into compassion, into serving others. It seems to come from the ability to spend time looking closely, deeply, precisely at what arises in mind. Transformation is not something you do, it is something you are. Participation mystique. It is complete involvement, complete non-separation from whatever is occurring.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w99SryceNUU&t=237s