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Trauma Changed My Voice. Here's What I'm Learning to Accept.
What would you sound like if nobody had ever silenced you?
That question took on a whole new meaning for me this week.
It started at our fourth Courage Circle — watching members of my community share their voices through fear, through shaking hands and racing hearts, through moments where they had to stop, breathe, and start again. It was one of the most inspiring things I’ve witnessed as a teacher. And it cracked something open in me.
Because someone left a comment on one of my YouTube videos last week. Totally kind, totally well-intentioned. They mentioned the raspiness in my voice.
And I noticed my reaction. The defensiveness. The shame. And I thought — I need to talk about this.
This episode is probably the most honest thing I’ve shared publicly. I talk about the raspiness in my voice, where it came from, and why it’s taken me this long to start accepting it. I talk about narcissistic abuse — what it does to your reality, your sense of self, your nervous system. I talk about the coping mechanisms that helped me survive but cost me something. And I talk about what it means to be a voice teacher who doesn’t have a perfect voice.
Your voice is a map of everything you’ve been through. I say that all the time. This episode is me reading my own map out loud — for maybe the first time.
If you’ve ever felt shame about the way your voice sounds. If you’ve ever been through something that changed you. If you’ve ever wondered whether you can still do the thing you love after the hard years — this one is for you.
Leave a comment and tell me about your own voice journey. I really want to know.
🎙️ Join The Healthy Voice Community → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page
📖 Voice Liberation Method → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083
📬 Free Vocal Guide → https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide
✍️ Substack → www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com
The harmonium changed my practice. There’s something about the drone — it drops you into your body faster than almost anything else I know. I’ve had both of mine for years and I wouldn’t trade them.
Old Delhi Music is where I got them. Colorado-based, independently owned, exceptional quality.
→ Use my link for 5% off your order https://bella-payne.kit.com/f76f7a876e
raspy voice and trauma | narcissistic abuse recovery | voice and trauma | trauma informed voice coaching | healing your voice | voice acceptance | courage circle | sound healing | voice liberation | PTSD and voice | how trauma affects the voice | voice teacher vulnerability | healthy voice podcast
Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe
View all episodes
By Bella PayneWhat would you sound like if nobody had ever silenced you?
That question took on a whole new meaning for me this week.
It started at our fourth Courage Circle — watching members of my community share their voices through fear, through shaking hands and racing hearts, through moments where they had to stop, breathe, and start again. It was one of the most inspiring things I’ve witnessed as a teacher. And it cracked something open in me.
Because someone left a comment on one of my YouTube videos last week. Totally kind, totally well-intentioned. They mentioned the raspiness in my voice.
And I noticed my reaction. The defensiveness. The shame. And I thought — I need to talk about this.
This episode is probably the most honest thing I’ve shared publicly. I talk about the raspiness in my voice, where it came from, and why it’s taken me this long to start accepting it. I talk about narcissistic abuse — what it does to your reality, your sense of self, your nervous system. I talk about the coping mechanisms that helped me survive but cost me something. And I talk about what it means to be a voice teacher who doesn’t have a perfect voice.
Your voice is a map of everything you’ve been through. I say that all the time. This episode is me reading my own map out loud — for maybe the first time.
If you’ve ever felt shame about the way your voice sounds. If you’ve ever been through something that changed you. If you’ve ever wondered whether you can still do the thing you love after the hard years — this one is for you.
Leave a comment and tell me about your own voice journey. I really want to know.
🎙️ Join The Healthy Voice Community → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page
📖 Voice Liberation Method → https://the-healthy-voice-community.circle.so/untitled-page-1-e9c083
📬 Free Vocal Guide → https://bella-payne.kit.com/freeguide
✍️ Substack → www.thehealthyvoicewrites.com
The harmonium changed my practice. There’s something about the drone — it drops you into your body faster than almost anything else I know. I’ve had both of mine for years and I wouldn’t trade them.
Old Delhi Music is where I got them. Colorado-based, independently owned, exceptional quality.
→ Use my link for 5% off your order https://bella-payne.kit.com/f76f7a876e
raspy voice and trauma | narcissistic abuse recovery | voice and trauma | trauma informed voice coaching | healing your voice | voice acceptance | courage circle | sound healing | voice liberation | PTSD and voice | how trauma affects the voice | voice teacher vulnerability | healthy voice podcast
Get full access to The Healthy Voice Writes at rawveganbella.substack.com/subscribe