Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey

Do you keep attracting the same kind of partner, no matter how much work you think you've done? Have you ever confused the feeling of being wanted with actually being safe? Or wondered why you can give your vulnerability so freely, yet feel like the man across from you would rather fight you than let you in? In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Mike Elliott, relationship expert and men's coach, for a raw and eye-opening conversation about attachment, the wounded masculine, emotional labor, and what it actually takes to build a relationship where both people feel safe. Mike shares his own story, from being adopted twice and severed from early attachment, to years spent numbing with drugs, domination, and the mantra "men will fear me, women will want me," to the two reckonings that finally cracked him open and led him to this work. Together, Mikki and Mike unpack why so many men are walking around with a little boy driving the bus, why friction can feel safer to a man than vulnerability, and why the emotional load women have been carrying for years is real and deserves to be seen before anything else can shift. You will learn why intimacy is not a feeling but a practice of two people creating safety for each other, and why the most powerful move in a relationship is taking radical ownership of your own side of the pattern.In this conversation, Mikki and Mike explore:- Why men are far more sensitive than they appear, and how numbing hides it- The little boy inside a man, and how it quietly runs his relationships- Why friction and conflict can feel safer to a man than being vulnerable- The three levels of relational consciousness: me, you-me, and we- Why the emotional labor women carry deserves to be seen before the reframe- How your little girl can be driving the bus too, without you realizing it- What it really means to create safety for a partner to open his heart- Why "he just won't do the work" often carries an energy he can feel- How self-soothing and addiction, from crack to fried chicken, numb the feedback life is trying to give us- Why so many women are opting out of love, and what to do before you swear off men for good- How to find people living sacred relationship and let them model it for youMike also shares why the healing does not happen in isolation, and how being held by someone who is actually living a thriving relationship can transform the frequency you carry and the love you attract. If you have ever felt like you keep starting over in love, like you give more than you receive, or like you brace for disappointment before a man ever has the chance to show up, this episode will meet you right where you are. This is not just a conversation about men. It is about ownership, emotional regulation, self-love, and learning how to be in a relationship with yourself first so that everything else can follow.Connect with Mike Elliott Podcast: The Sacred We PodcastEmail: [email protected]: itsmikeelliott.comInstagram: @mikeelliott.relatingConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki's Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: @getmikkibey

Do you keep attracting the same kind of partner, no matter how much work you think you've done? Have you ever confused the feeling of being wanted with actually being safe? Or wondered why you can give your vulnerability so freely, yet feel like the man across from you would rather fight you than let you in? In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Mike Elliott, relationship expert and men's coach, for a raw and eye-opening conversation about attachment, the wounded masculine, emotional labor, and what it actually takes to build a relationship where both people feel safe. Mike shares his own story, from being adopted twice and severed from early attachment, to years spent numbing with drugs, domination, and the mantra "men will fear me, women will want me," to the two reckonings that finally cracked him open and led him to this work. Together, Mikki and Mike unpack why so many men are walking around with a little boy driving the bus, why friction can feel safer to a man than vulnerability, and why the emotional load women have been carrying for years is real and deserves to be seen before anything else can shift. You will learn why intimacy is not a feeling but a practice of two people creating safety for each other, and why the most powerful move in a relationship is taking radical ownership of your own side of the pattern.In this conversation, Mikki and Mike explore:- Why men are far more sensitive than they appear, and how numbing hides it- The little boy inside a man, and how it quietly runs his relationships- Why friction and conflict can feel safer to a man than being vulnerable- The three levels of relational consciousness: me, you-me, and we- Why the emotional labor women carry deserves to be seen before the reframe- How your little girl can be driving the bus too, without you realizing it- What it really means to create safety for a partner to open his heart- Why "he just won't do the work" often carries an energy he can feel- How self-soothing and addiction, from crack to fried chicken, numb the feedback life is trying to give us- Why so many women are opting out of love, and what to do before you swear off men for good- How to find people living sacred relationship and let them model it for youMike also shares why the healing does not happen in isolation, and how being held by someone who is actually living a thriving relationship can transform the frequency you carry and the love you attract. If you have ever felt like you keep starting over in love, like you give more than you receive, or like you brace for disappointment before a man ever has the chance to show up, this episode will meet you right where you are. This is not just a conversation about men. It is about ownership, emotional regulation, self-love, and learning how to be in a relationship with yourself first so that everything else can follow.Connect with Mike Elliott Podcast: The Sacred We PodcastEmail: [email protected]: itsmikeelliott.comInstagram: @mikeelliott.relatingConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki's Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: @getmikkibey

Do you keep attracting the same kind of partner, no matter how much work you think you've done? Have you ever confused the feeling of being wanted with actually being seen?

Or wondered why a relationship that looked good on paper left you feeling more anxious than secure?

In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Kirsten Davidson, registered psychotherapist and relationship expert, for an honest and grounding conversation about dating, attachment, trauma, and what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship from the inside out.

Kirsten breaks down why vulnerability is not a weakness but the foundation of real connection, how our nervous system shapes who we attract and how we show up, and why the labels we find on the internet about attachment styles are only telling half the story. Together, Mikki and Kirsten unpack the emotional patterns, unhealed trauma, and self-abandonment that keep so many women stuck in cycles they cannot seem to break, no matter how badly they want something different.

You will learn why emotional safety has to start with you before it can exist between you and another person and why the most radical thing you can do in dating is simply show up as yourself.

In this conversation, Mikki and Kirsten explore:

• Why vulnerability on a first date is a feature, not a flaw
• How attachment styles are fluid and why you are not doomed
• The difference between wanting to change and having the capacity to change
• Why "if he wanted to, he would" misses the full picture
• How unhealed trauma shows up as walls, avoidance, and anxiety in relationships
• What limerence is and how to stop falling in love with potential
• How to give yourself closure when someone leaves without explanation
• Co-regulation techniques for couples and singles, including self-touch practices

Kirsten also shares how the most healing relationships are the ones where both partners can name what is coming up, trace it back to where it started, and choose to show up differently and how that kind of intentionality can be built, even if it was never modeled for you.

If you have ever felt like you keep starting over in love, like you give more than you receive, or like you disappear a little every time you try to make a relationship work, this episode will meet you right where you are.

This is not just a conversation about dating. It is about identity, self-love, emotional regulation, and learning how to be in a relationship with yourself first so that everything else can follow.

Connect with Kirsten Davidson

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Website: ⁠mindthegaps.co⁠

Instagram: ⁠kirsten.davidson⁠

LinkedIn: ⁠Kirsten Davidson⁠

Facebook: ⁠Mind The Gaps Psychotherapy⁠

Connect with Mikki Bey

Download Mikki's Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): ⁠https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryf⁠

Website: ⁠https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/⁠

LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: @getmikkibey

Do you keep attracting the same kind of partner, no matter how much work you think you've done? Have you ever confused the feeling of being wanted with actually being seen?

Or wondered why a relationship that looked good on paper left you feeling more anxious than secure?

In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Kirsten Davidson, registered psychotherapist and relationship expert, for an honest and grounding conversation about dating, attachment, trauma, and what it actually takes to build a healthy relationship from the inside out.

Kirsten breaks down why vulnerability is not a weakness but the foundation of real connection, how our nervous system shapes who we attract and how we show up, and why the labels we find on the internet about attachment styles are only telling half the story. Together, Mikki and Kirsten unpack the emotional patterns, unhealed trauma, and self-abandonment that keep so many women stuck in cycles they cannot seem to break, no matter how badly they want something different.

You will learn why emotional safety has to start with you before it can exist between you and another person and why the most radical thing you can do in dating is simply show up as yourself.

In this conversation, Mikki and Kirsten explore:

• Why vulnerability on a first date is a feature, not a flaw
• How attachment styles are fluid and why you are not doomed
• The difference between wanting to change and having the capacity to change
• Why "if he wanted to, he would" misses the full picture
• How unhealed trauma shows up as walls, avoidance, and anxiety in relationships
• What limerence is and how to stop falling in love with potential
• How to give yourself closure when someone leaves without explanation
• Co-regulation techniques for couples and singles, including self-touch practices

Kirsten also shares how the most healing relationships are the ones where both partners can name what is coming up, trace it back to where it started, and choose to show up differently and how that kind of intentionality can be built, even if it was never modeled for you.

If you have ever felt like you keep starting over in love, like you give more than you receive, or like you disappear a little every time you try to make a relationship work, this episode will meet you right where you are.

This is not just a conversation about dating. It is about identity, self-love, emotional regulation, and learning how to be in a relationship with yourself first so that everything else can follow.

Connect with Kirsten DavidsonEmail: [email protected]

Website: mindthegaps.co

Instagram: kirsten.davidson

LinkedIn: Kirsten Davidson

Facebook: Mind The Gaps Psychotherapy

Connect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki's Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: @getmikkibey

Do you feel disconnected during intimacy, even when you’re in a relationship?Have you ever said “yes” when your body wasn’t fully on board?Or wondered why sex feels more confusing than connecting?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Brian Gibney, surrogate partner and intimacy coach, for a bold and deeply necessary conversation about sex, safety, and nervous system regulation.Brian explains what surrogate partner therapy actually is, how it works alongside traditional therapy, and why so many adults are dysregulated around intimacy. Together, they unpack the emotional, cultural, and religious conditioning that has shaped how we approach sex — often leaving us disconnected from our bodies, our boundaries, and our voice.You’ll learn why emotional safety is the foundation of truly satisfying intimacy — and why great sex has less to do with performance and more to do with attunement.In this conversation, Mikki and Brian explore:• What surrogate partner therapy is — and who it’s for• How dysregulation shows up in sex and intimacy• The difference between implied consent and full-body yes• Why attunement creates deeper emotional and physical connection• How scarcity and urgency sabotage intimacy• The “May I / Will You” exercise for building safety and trust• How to stop abandoning yourself during sex• Practical tools for singles and couples to build sexual self-awarenessBrian also shares how most adults were never taught how to communicate desire, boundaries, or consent — and how slowing down, using your words, and building safety can transform intimacy into a healing experience.If you’ve ever felt touch-deprived, misunderstood, disconnected from pleasure, or unsure how to express what you truly want, this episode will expand your perspective on what safe sex actually means.This is more than a conversation about sex.It’s about emotional regulation, agency, healing, and learning how to relate to another human without urgency, extraction, or self-abandonment.Connect with Brian GibneyWebsite: https://briangibney.orgConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: / getmikkibey

Do you feel disconnected during intimacy, even when you’re in a relationship?Have you ever said “yes” when your body wasn’t fully on board?Or wondered why sex feels more confusing than connecting?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Brian Gibney, surrogate partner and intimacy coach, for a bold and deeply necessary conversation about sex, safety, and nervous system regulation.Brian explains what surrogate partner therapy actually is, how it works alongside traditional therapy, and why so many adults are dysregulated around intimacy. Together, they unpack the emotional, cultural, and religious conditioning that has shaped how we approach sex — often leaving us disconnected from our bodies, our boundaries, and our voice.You’ll learn why emotional safety is the foundation of truly satisfying intimacy — and why great sex has less to do with performance and more to do with attunement.In this conversation, Mikki and Brian explore:• What surrogate partner therapy is — and who it’s for• How dysregulation shows up in sex and intimacy• The difference between implied consent and full-body yes• Why attunement creates deeper emotional and physical connection• How scarcity and urgency sabotage intimacy• The “May I / Will You” exercise for building safety and trust• How to stop abandoning yourself during sex• Practical tools for singles and couples to build sexual self-awarenessBrian also shares how most adults were never taught how to communicate desire, boundaries, or consent — and how slowing down, using your words, and building safety can transform intimacy into a healing experience.If you’ve ever felt touch-deprived, misunderstood, disconnected from pleasure, or unsure how to express what you truly want, this episode will expand your perspective on what safe sex actually means.This is more than a conversation about sex.It’s about emotional regulation, agency, healing, and learning how to relate to another human without urgency, extraction, or self-abandonment.Connect with Brian GibneyWebsite: https://briangibney.orgConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: Mikki BeyInstagram: / getmikkibey

Do you ever look successful on the outside — career intact, responsibilities handled, image polished — but internally feel like you’re barely holding it together?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Marcus CJ Lewis, life coach, speaker, and men’s wellbeing advocate, for one of the rawest conversations yet on addiction, masculinity, identity, and emotional regulation.Marcus shares his journey from high-functioning addiction — including crystal meth, alcohol, and a 30-year porn addiction — to sobriety, self-awareness, and leadership. He opens up about domestic violence, depression, dysregulated parenting, and the moment he calls his “spiritual rock bottom” — a morning that forced him to confront himself and choose change.You’ll hear what emotional regulation actually looks like in real life: grieving old identities, interrupting addictive patterns, managing arousal and impulse, sitting with discomfort instead of escaping it, and learning how to tell yourself “no” without shame.In this conversation, Mikki and Marcus explore:• The hidden face of high-functioning addiction• How dysregulated parenting shapes adult emotional patterns• Why change feels violent — and why that’s part of growth• Addiction as an attempt to self-soothe unresolved pain• The role of identity work in breaking long-term addictive cycles• How emotional regulation helps men master impulse and arousal• Bringing authenticity and spirituality into corporate leadership• Why recovery is about awareness, compassion, and moment-to-moment presenceMarcus also shares practical tools that supported his recovery — journaling, changing environments, breathwork, identity shifts, and learning to sit with emotional discomfort instead of numbing it.If you’ve ever struggled with impulse, addiction, shame, or the pressure to “protect and provide” without support, this episode offers a powerful reminder: emotional regulation isn’t weakness — it’s leadership.Connect with Marcus CJ LewisWebsite: https://marcuscjlewis.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/marcuscjlewisLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marcuscjlewisFacebook: https://facebook.com/marcuscjlewisConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: / mbcmbaInstagram: / getmikkibey

Do you ever look successful on the outside — career intact, responsibilities handled, image polished — but internally feel like you’re barely holding it together?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Marcus CJ Lewis, life coach, speaker, and men’s wellbeing advocate, for one of the rawest conversations yet on addiction, masculinity, identity, and emotional regulation.Marcus shares his journey from high-functioning addiction — including crystal meth, alcohol, and a 30-year porn addiction — to sobriety, self-awareness, and leadership. He opens up about domestic violence, depression, dysregulated parenting, and the moment he calls his “spiritual rock bottom” — a morning that forced him to confront himself and choose change.You’ll hear what emotional regulation actually looks like in real life: grieving old identities, interrupting addictive patterns, managing arousal and impulse, sitting with discomfort instead of escaping it, and learning how to tell yourself “no” without shame.In this conversation, Mikki and Marcus explore:• The hidden face of high-functioning addiction• How dysregulated parenting shapes adult emotional patterns• Why change feels violent — and why that’s part of growth• Addiction as an attempt to self-soothe unresolved pain• The role of identity work in breaking long-term addictive cycles• How emotional regulation helps men master impulse and arousal• Bringing authenticity and spirituality into corporate leadership• Why recovery is about awareness, compassion, and moment-to-moment presenceMarcus also shares practical tools that supported his recovery — journaling, changing environments, breathwork, identity shifts, and learning to sit with emotional discomfort instead of numbing it.If you’ve ever struggled with impulse, addiction, shame, or the pressure to “protect and provide” without support, this episode offers a powerful reminder: emotional regulation isn’t weakness — it’s leadership.Connect with Marcus CJ LewisWebsite: https://marcuscjlewis.comInstagram: https://instagram.com/marcuscjlewisLinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/marcuscjlewisFacebook: https://facebook.com/marcuscjlewisConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass): https://themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: / mbcmbaInstagram: / getmikkibey

Do you ever feel constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, or emotionally reactive—yet can’t explain why, even though you’re “doing everything right”?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Dr. Samara Toussaint, psychologist, mental health practice owner, and neurodivergence advocate, for a powerful conversation on emotional regulation, masking, and the often-missed reality of neurodivergence in Black women.Dr. Samara shares her personal journey of being late-diagnosed as autistic, and how years of masking, perfectionism, and burnout are often misread as personal failure instead of nervous system overload. Together, they unpack how emotional dysregulation, trauma, culture, and neurodivergence intersect—and why so many Black women are misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, or overlooked entirely.You’ll learn how emotional regulation can support healing, self-understanding, and nervous system safety—whether or not you’re neurodivergent.In this conversation, Mikki and Dr. Samara explore:• What neurodivergence really means (beyond ADHD and autism stereotypes)• The difference between masking, code-switching, and self-abandonment• Why burnout and perfectionism are major signs of emotional dysregulation• How neurodivergence shows up differently in Black women• Why late diagnosis is so common—and so costly• The impact of culture, bias, and misdiagnosis on Black women’s mental health• When emotional regulation coaching helps—and when assessment and accommodations are neededIf you’ve ever felt like life feels harder than it should, or you’ve been told you’re “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “not trying hard enough,” this episode may help you finally understand what’s really happening—and how to support yourself with more compassion and clarity.Connect with Dr. Samara ToussaintInstagram & TikTok: @schoolpsychdrt(Link in bio for private practice, assessments, and resources)Website: www.path2growthcounseling.comConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass):https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: / mbcmbaInstagram: / getmikkibey

Do you ever feel constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, or emotionally reactive—yet can’t explain why, even though you’re “doing everything right”?In this episode of Trigger Proof with Mikki Bey, emotional regulation coach Mikki Bey sits down with Dr. Samara Toussaint, psychologist, mental health practice owner, and neurodivergence advocate, for a powerful conversation on emotional regulation, masking, and the often-missed reality of neurodivergence in Black women.Dr. Samara shares her personal journey of being late-diagnosed as autistic, and how years of masking, perfectionism, and burnout are often misread as personal failure instead of nervous system overload. Together, they unpack how emotional dysregulation, trauma, culture, and neurodivergence intersect—and why so many Black women are misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, or overlooked entirely.You’ll learn how emotional regulation can support healing, self-understanding, and nervous system safety—whether or not you’re neurodivergent.In this conversation, Mikki and Dr. Samara explore:• What neurodivergence really means (beyond ADHD and autism stereotypes)• The difference between masking, code-switching, and self-abandonment• Why burnout and perfectionism are major signs of emotional dysregulation• How neurodivergence shows up differently in Black women• Why late diagnosis is so common—and so costly• The impact of culture, bias, and misdiagnosis on Black women’s mental health• When emotional regulation coaching helps—and when assessment and accommodations are neededIf you’ve ever felt like life feels harder than it should, or you’ve been told you’re “too emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “not trying hard enough,” this episode may help you finally understand what’s really happening—and how to support yourself with more compassion and clarity.Connect with Dr. Samara ToussaintInstagram & TikTok: @schoolpsychdrt(Link in bio for private practice, assessments, and resources)Website: www.path2growthcounseling.comConnect with Mikki BeyDownload Mikki’s Free Emotional Regulation Bundle (ebook, workbook, and masterclass):https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/inquiryfWebsite: https://www.themikkibeygroup.com/LinkedIn: / mbcmbaInstagram: / getmikkibey