True Stories – December 12, 2023

Strange but true stories and a Kwame Kilpatrick tale mined from a sentencing memorandum dominate this week’s discussion as new Employee of the Month Shawn zooms in to regale ML and Marc with some fresh yarns.

STRAIGHT DOPE: Most folks say they hate to say “I told you so,” but ML ain’t most people. So he cues up Detroit Lion Spiderman Allen’s version of “Another One Bites the Dust” and points out that he suggested the Lions’ early season success could fade, just like Spiderman’s 1980 Lions.

Marc and Shawn are still fired up about the Leos, even though their loss to the Chicago Bears derailed Shawn’s plan to go to Chicago and write about how Lions fans are taking over opposing stadiums. 

Marc asks Shawn if bad news sells better than good news. ML and Shawn share their insights from decades as newsmen … and long-time purveyors of bad news.

Michigan Wolverines basketball coach Juwan Howard may have got into another spat. But we don’t know for sure. So, unlike the rest of the world, we don’t speculate (though ML is dying to know the whole story!). 

Briefly — we promise — the crew discusses the moribund Detroit Pistons and their 20-game losing streak, which could extend long enough to set a new NBA record.

Shawn zooms in from Champaign, where he reminisces about changing seats in the moving vehicle to moon high school football fans and shares other tales of his youthful jackassery.

The Illinois Department of Transportation’s unexpected sense of humor prompts ML to recall his failed attempt to get Jim Schaefer to write about the author of the Michigan Department of Transportation’s clever messages to motorists.

ML’s research on his latest column prompted him to call Detroit investigative reporting legends Steve Wilson and Scott Lewis to check if they were part of the TV crew stopped by Kwame Kilpatrick’s mayoral bodyguards back in 2006. Listen and learn about this never-before told story of political power run amok.

TJ Lang is very hard to get past when you’re working behind the bar, as ML and Marc recount in their recap of their celebrity bartending experience at the Lodge Grill and Bar in Keego Harbor last Friday, where Matt Riley and his team raised $142,000 at the 13th annual Killer Cares Christmas party, the big fundraiser inspired by the late Oakland Press sports columnist Tom “Killer” Kowalski.

Mayor Mike Duggan’s nemesis Bob Carmack is trying to delay his drunk driving trial, citing health issues that could mean he only has months to live. 

ML encourages everyone to join him in supporting “Whamageddon,” the 18-year-old movement created to avoid one of the most ubiquitous Christmas songs of all-time. Marc lays out George Michael’s Christmas music moral dilemma, prompting ML to bring up one of the sickest burns of all time from Morrissey.

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GEEK OF THE WEEK: There are some comparisons that are guaranteed to lose an argument — no matter how strong your case is. Buffalo Bills coach Sean McDermott is learning this after a writer unearthed some comments he made in 2019 invoking the 9/11 hijackers. 

ROOM 7609: The Cosmopolitans check in to the New Wave suite with advice on “(How to Keep Your) Husband Happy.”