Trump calls the troops "losers" and "suckers" and the veterans are annoyed!  We get a tuxedo in the mail only to find the box is empty (oh no)!  A switch to Soylent ends at 2AM in tears over gyros.  Plus: the iPhone 12 leaks, VMAs, and Alan found out he's legally blind in one eye on a trip to Illinois.  All this and more on our thirteenth episode of Lazy, Yet Successful!!