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Trust isn’t a value—it’s a privilege. And when leaders demand it instead of earning it, what they’re asking for is compliance, not connection.

Some organizations love to say “trust is one of our core values.” But here’s the truth: trust isn’t a value—it’s a privilege. It has to be earned. It has to be honored. And when it’s demanded instead of demonstrated, it becomes a weapon.

In this episode, therapist and former crisis leader Nikki Hensler Gordon unpacks how trust is often used as a performance metric, a loyalty test, or a silencer—especially in toxic workplaces, helping professions, and hierarchical systems. She explores how language like “we’re a family” or “we value transparency” can be used to gaslight, isolate, or punish anyone who challenges the narrative.

We’ll talk about:

• The difference between real trust and performative trust
• What institutional betrayal actually looks like
• Why “trust us” often means “don’t question us”
• How survivors of trauma can reclaim their own internal compass in the face of manipulation

This one’s for anyone who’s been told to trust a system that didn’t earn it—and then blamed when they got hurt.

Structure & Scars
Unfiltered dialogue about the structures that shape us.

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