If nothing I do matters, and every day is pretty much Groundhog Day, then what matters to me? I felt like I was making more progress with a podcast than a journal. I was more creative, more inclined to share, listened more to what I was saying. The trick is to not think about what anyone listening might think or do. And feel safe enough, unmonitored enough that it doesn’t matter what I do or say, because this is for me. What a concept: a trans dude, or anyone, doing something just for themselves, that isn’t about what other people think or feel. Me doing that. And rejecting any attempts to put me back in a people-pleasing servile place. No one owns me. I’m not a pleaser; that is not what I do.