Trump declares a new holiday and it’s just tariffs in drag. OpenAI grabs $40 billion while Elon fumes in a corner. Cory Booker talks for 19 straight hours and somehow still doesn’t filibuster. France kicks Marine Le Pen off the 2027 ballot and the far-right eats itself alive. And corporate April Fools’ jokes continue their war on comedy—with chip sandwiches, BBQ lipstick, and a candle that smells like cat poop. Let’s get into it.

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Links:

• What this week's rollout of Trump's tariffs could mean for you | AP News
• OpenAI raises $40B at $300B post-money valuation | TechCrunch
• Cory Booker holds marathon Senate speech to warn of Trump’s ‘harmful’ policies | US politics | The Guardian
• France's Le Pen convicted of graft, barred from running for president in 2027 | Reuters
• April Fools’ Day 2025: the best and cringiest pranks | The Verge