Let's say it's the 1980s and you're new in town. To meet your neighbors and make some friends, you decide to host a Tupperware party. But some ditzy wannabes roll up to your crib, tell you that you're invading their turf, and demand that you cut it out. What would you do? If you're anything like the main character of our story this week, you take a chill pill, befriend a biker gang, and say, "yes way" to your future.

Oh, and those airheads from earlier? It turns out they're members of a Satanic cult, and now they want to sacrifice you to appease the Dark Lord. Gag me with a spoon, right? I wonder if your new biker gang friends might be able to help you out with your little Satanist problem...

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