Moments of obsession toward your boyfriend, girlfriend, love interest, person you admire . You might be wondering what he's doing, she's doing, and most importantly, with who? It hurts it's not you, you are not the choice, you are not the 1st selection. So, what do you do with that energy? Yes, it is an energy and it is an imbalance of focus. The focus should be on self, building self, learning self, holding self, caring for self, consoling swlf, cherishing, loving, seeking to understand and placate self To further go into self and learn the self, very raw, a break up will do that, leave with ONLY self left. A lesson then is there for the self to learn, and that is, she's been a whole, complete person the WHOLE time, he's been a whole complete person the whole time.