We kick things off with the bizarre case of Mary Cowan — a story so messy and surreal it feels like history accidentally tripped, faceplanted, and decided to stay there. Mary’s saga plays out like a fever dream of bad decisions, wild twists, and unsettling déjà vu that makes you wonder if the universe just hits copy-paste on terrible life choices.

Then we move on to Linda Hazzard — who wasn’t just eccentric; she was basically running the “Starve Yourself to Enlightenment (and Accidentally Die)” Spa Experience™. Linda’s whole vibe radiates Kuzco’s poison—sorry, potion—energy, the kind of chaotic villainy that really should come with its own Disney musical number.

Meanwhile, Lauren is spiraling about the spider bite on her leg, which she refuses to wrap like a Christmas ham because the sound of plastic wrap makes her want to yeet herself into the void. And because life is cruel, she’s apparently allergic to either bandaids or the adhesive on bandaids, meaning even her first-aid kit has turned against her.

And Courtney? She’s sick as hell with a cold but still powers through like the absolute rockstar she is — even if she does sound like she’s podcasting from the inside of a haunted crypt.

Between all that, we still find time for several unhinged tangents — because why just tell a story when you can derail into unsolicited food opinions, existential crises, and chaos no one asked for?

It’s true crime meets villain backstory meets two co-hosts slowly falling apart in real time — all marinated in that signature Haunted and Homicidal chaos that somehow makes the horrifying downright hilarious.

💀 Grab your sage, sip your potion (not poison), and come suffer laugh with us.