To have healthy, emotionally intimate communication with your kids, actually with anybody, you need to attend to both your verbal and nonverbal communication. Verbals and nonverbals are two sides of the coin. When they don't match, the listener is left with, "Wait. What???" What you say and what you do need to convey the same message. If I'm having a conversation with one of my friends and they consistently look away, I will likely stop what I'm saying and ask, "Are you okay? You seem distracted." Their words and actions are not matching. In giving your child your attention, give her all of your attention. Otherwise, she might be left with the conclusion that you don't care about her, or that her words aren't really that important to you.