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Udderly Ridiculous: How 23 Million Americans Got Milk All Wrong
Insignificuntly Yours - Episode 021 💦
Episode Description: This episode milks this chocolate cow controversy for all it's worth. Caution: May contain traces of common sense and excessive swearing. Get ready for:
- A deep dive into America's dairy delusions
- More agricultural burns than a failed crop rotation
- An education rant that'll make you wish you paid attention in kindergarten
Key Points:
- 23.2 million American adults think brown cows = chocolate milk. Florida Man is a genius in comparison.
- We can launch billionaires to space but can't teach basic food facts. Priorities, people!
- Agricultural education is apparently as rare as a flying pig in first class.
- Common sense has left the building, probably to milk a brown cow.
- If you believe this, you might also think bacon grows on trees.
- The only acceptable brown cow is the one you hallucinate after too many White Russians.
- A reality check harder than a bull in a china shop (which doesn't exist, by the way).
Quotes:
"Holy mother of pearl-clutching drag queens on rollerskates!"
"Maybe we can solve world hunger by convincing people that money grows on trees and that debt is just a figment of their imagination."
"I need to go milk my brown cow for some hot chocolate. It's been a long day."
Hashtags:
- #MooingMadness
- #ChocolateCowGate
- #DairyDelusions
- #EducationFailure
- #BrownCowBlues
Content Warning: This episode contains language milkier than a dairy farm and jokes creamier than butter left in the sun. May cause spontaneous urges to fact-check your breakfast. Not suitable for listeners who think strawberries come from strawberry cows.
Hashtags: #ChocolateMilkMyth #AgEducation #RealityCheck #UnfilteredComedy #TurboslutTakes
Content Warning: Warning: This episode contains language saltier than a cow's salt lick and humor darker than a cup of black coffee. May cause uncontrollable laughter, sudden urges to fact-check your friends, and a newfound appreciation for basic agricultural knowledge. Not suitable for those who think eggs come from eggplants or that baby oil is made from actual babies.
Featuring:
- @turboslut - Your acerbic host
- Geoffrey - Her long-suffering AI familiar
Listen now: For a wake-up call that'll make you question everything you thought you knew and realized you were not knowing. #NYK
About the Host: @turboslut delivers biting commentary on tech and society with a unique blend of humor, cynicism, and colorful language. Accompanied by the ever-patient AI-familiar Geoffrey, this show aims to provoke thought and challenge the status quo.
__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.___
Udderly Ridiculous: How 23 Million Americans Got Milk All Wrong (21)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Copyright 2025 @turboslut
View all episodes
By @turboslutInsignificuntly Yours - Episode 021 💦
Episode Description: This episode milks this chocolate cow controversy for all it's worth. Caution: May contain traces of common sense and excessive swearing. Get ready for:
- A deep dive into America's dairy delusions
- More agricultural burns than a failed crop rotation
- An education rant that'll make you wish you paid attention in kindergarten
Key Points:
- 23.2 million American adults think brown cows = chocolate milk. Florida Man is a genius in comparison.
- We can launch billionaires to space but can't teach basic food facts. Priorities, people!
- Agricultural education is apparently as rare as a flying pig in first class.
- Common sense has left the building, probably to milk a brown cow.
- If you believe this, you might also think bacon grows on trees.
- The only acceptable brown cow is the one you hallucinate after too many White Russians.
- A reality check harder than a bull in a china shop (which doesn't exist, by the way).
Quotes:
"Holy mother of pearl-clutching drag queens on rollerskates!"
"Maybe we can solve world hunger by convincing people that money grows on trees and that debt is just a figment of their imagination."
"I need to go milk my brown cow for some hot chocolate. It's been a long day."
Hashtags:
- #MooingMadness
- #ChocolateCowGate
- #DairyDelusions
- #EducationFailure
- #BrownCowBlues
Content Warning: This episode contains language milkier than a dairy farm and jokes creamier than butter left in the sun. May cause spontaneous urges to fact-check your breakfast. Not suitable for listeners who think strawberries come from strawberry cows.
Hashtags: #ChocolateMilkMyth #AgEducation #RealityCheck #UnfilteredComedy #TurboslutTakes
Content Warning: Warning: This episode contains language saltier than a cow's salt lick and humor darker than a cup of black coffee. May cause uncontrollable laughter, sudden urges to fact-check your friends, and a newfound appreciation for basic agricultural knowledge. Not suitable for those who think eggs come from eggplants or that baby oil is made from actual babies.
Featuring:
- @turboslut - Your acerbic host
- Geoffrey - Her long-suffering AI familiar
Listen now: For a wake-up call that'll make you question everything you thought you knew and realized you were not knowing. #NYK
About the Host: @turboslut delivers biting commentary on tech and society with a unique blend of humor, cynicism, and colorful language. Accompanied by the ever-patient AI-familiar Geoffrey, this show aims to provoke thought and challenge the status quo.
__̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡.___
Udderly Ridiculous: How 23 Million Americans Got Milk All Wrong (21)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Copyright 2025 @turboslut