Jon reviews Square-Enix’s latest ports of Final Fantasy IV and Final Fantasy VI, and Cody brings it all back together by reviewing mobile game Final Fantasy Record Keeper. Plus: Cody’s first impressions of Supergiant Games’ 2014 release, Transistor.

Click here to download this Unqualified Gamers Podcast episode

Show Notes:

* Jon discusses the insanely graphic fatalities featured in the upcoming game Mortal Kombat X

* Jon gives a quick recap of the inner circles of hell from Dante’s “The Inferno”

* Cody explains the significance of the number 107 from his childhood

* Jon’s kid is still sick all the time always, because apparently kids can run ridiculous fevers and then be perfectly fine at random

* Jon had the most beautiful weekend he could basically ever remember in Minnesota, because Weather

* Cody recaps his birthday weekend, which was full of less fanfare than he’d anticipated, and also full of far more church than he’d anticipated

* Cody explains how he and his girlfriend kept themselves entertained during the longest Catholic Mass he has ever attended

* Cody started playing Transistor, but didn’t get very far because he’s busy selling things

* Transistor is the kind of game that makes you think about video games as art, according to Cody

* Cody explains the ability system in Transistor, which allows for a ridiculous amount of customization

* Jon insists that he’s going to play Transistor this weekend, after months of anticipation

* Cody explains the very deep storyline to Captain Toad’s Treasure Tracker

* Cody got a third-party Gamecube controller adapter so he can play Super Smash Bros for WiiU with a Gamecube controller, and he says it works great!

* Minor complaint about how it would have been nice to have a story mode in the newest Smash Bros game, but it’s still fun

* Jon gives an update on his progress in Final Fantasy IV, which he’s playing on Steam, and Final Fantasy VI, which he’s playing on his iPad

* Jon explains how he broke Final Fantasy IV using augments, primarily Counter and Kick

* Even with broken augments, the final dungeon of Final Fantasy IV is still stupidly hard… but the Bahamut Cave is not

* Jon explains the difference between “old school” classic NES and SNES JRPGs, especially the difference in the purpose of battles in the games

* It’s hard to “enjoy” playing Final Fantasy IV from the standpoint of modern gaming, but it’s still an amazing trip down memory lane and totally worth it for the feels

* Cody and Jon discuss Edge, the ninja who is no longer as horribly awful when he joins your party in the new version of the game

* Jon has a freakish memory when it comes to the exact number of hit points he had when he joined your party in the original game

* Jon discusses the new “art” “style” of Final Fantasy VI on the iPad, and why he is basically disgusted by the changes they made

* “It plays like an SNES-style RPG, but on an iPad.”

* Jon doesn’t understand why developers make stupid decisions when it comes to making joysticks appear in games on tablets and other touch-screen devices

* The controls in combat are super-intuitive, but on the main map…